“I suspect Rollick will find many friends here. Aorle has chosen honorable men to follow him -- men who will respect your husband’s experience and admire his good heart. They won’t reject him based on some evil they’ve never even witnessed.”
Julen watched Martin wobble on unsteady baby feet, one of his small hands held by a fairy and the other hand held by a human. A child balanced between two worlds. As Julen listened to Uluki talk about the prejudice she and Rollick had faced, he couldn’t help wondering what Martin’s journey would be like. Would he unite the two halves of his heritage and become greater than the sum of his pieces? Or would those pieces tear him apart?
“Here in Marn, people are fairly tolerant of most other races. Humans and elves interbreed often enough. I think it would be considered a little odd for an elf or human to wed a gnome -- however, they wouldn’t be shunned. If someone married a troll, people would make comments, but not throw rocks.”
“Of course, it’s different for the obviously magical races. Shifters. Fairies.” Julen regretted that he didn’t have better news to give Uluki. “I wish you’d been transported somewhere free of the bigotry you endured in your old home. But that’s not the case. Some people here will fear and hate you because they fear and hate what you represent. I remember the preacher at my father’s church saying that fairies were jealous of humanity, that you played tricks on us because we had souls and you didn’t. I never believed that. And I think that if he had lived to meet you, even my father wouldn’t be able to keep believing it.”
Julen shook his head. “I’m sorry that you and Rollick have faced such trials. To some small extent, I understand a little of what you went through. Not everyone was overjoyed when I married Rosemary. Her father hoped that her beauty might win her a noble husband, someone who could support the whole family in luxury, and he never forgave her for marrying a farmer instead. I felt terrible for causing a rift between them. But Rosemary just told me what Rollick told you -- that I was worth it.”
“I guess the best we can do is leave our doors open and make our family out of those people who chose to walk through them. If someone slams a door in our face, we have to accept that they made their own choice, and learn to let them go.”
When Uluki mentioned how concerned Rosemary must be about the possibility of her husband’s magic being discovered, Julen visibly winced. “Rosemary doesn’t know. My talent didn’t manifest itself until a few months ago, when I came to Marn seeking work.” Julen told Uluki about the incident in the tavern, and how Aranel had saved him, and how a later demonstration had led to his meeting with Aorle. “When I returned to Shim, I still didn’t tell her. I was...I was afraid of what I would see in her eyes. I suppose that sounds selfish, to deceive her for my own benefit. But if she looked at me with fear, if she shrank away when I tried to touch her, if she worried about what sort of taint I might pass on to our children -- the Judges couldn’t devise a torture worse than that.”
Sadly, Julen released Martin’s hand, allowing him to settle back in his mother’s lap. “But I am going to tell her. After I help take care of the mercenary problem, I’m going to turn myself in. Aorle has promised to speak for me at my safety hearing. He feels the Judges will be lenient. He’s probably right. My magic is too small to pose a threat to them, and also too small to be used by them -- unless they want a singing battlemage.” That last thought drew a chuckle from Julen.
“Once all that’s settled, and my magic can no longer put Rosemary in any danger, I’ll tell her. And hope that she finds a way to understand.”
In a way, Julen had hoped that Uluki’s paladin would prove to be the person responsible for sending the anonymous note. After all, a known enemy was less disconcerting than an unknown one, and a paladin -- although powerful -- was still just a man. But being dead almost certainly acquitted him. So Julen could only echo Uluki’s frustration. “I don’t know, either. I guess we’ll just have to be on our guards and see what happens next.”
Aftermath
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Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki had been about to protest that she did have a soul— or at least she thought that she did— till Julen made clear that he didn’t believe what the preacher had said, he was merely repeating it. She smiled at his kind assertion she might have been able to convince his father, though she didn’t share his confidence in her own persuasive abilities.
“My family didn’t care for my marriage either,” she admitted. “I don’t understand the differences in status between humans, like between farmer and noble.” In fact, Julen’s words puzzled her. Surely from a practical standpoint a farmer was a better choice? A farmer would need to rely only on himself and the luck of his harvests to feed his family, whereas a noble depended not only on those things but on the farmer’s fairness and goodwill. Such human ideas of social class made no sense to Uluki, but she didn’t ask for fear Julen would think she was mocking him. Maybe Rollick could explain it to her later. It probably had something to do with money and currency… another concept she only vaguely understood. Did people get paid to be nobles? She wasn’t sure.
“I was estranged from my family for years before that, but we had finally reconciled… when we had yet another rift because of who I chose to marry.”
“My family didn’t object on the basis of class, but of race. They could never fully accept that I had a human husband. They’d always pretend to forget about him, and claimed his name was too difficult to remember. My family always hoped that I would ‘come to my senses,’ as they called it, and leave Rollick. They hoped I would get tired of my marriage and go find a Duskling man, which they felt would be a more appropriate match. When I told them I was pregnant— and that I was happy about it— it finally got through to them that it wasn’t going to be the way they wanted. They’ve avoided me since then.” She laughed ruefully. “But not before my mother asked me, in front of everyone, if I had any idea who the father was. I’d been married for more than eight years at that point; it was obvious who the baby belonged to. It was just wishful thinking on her part, I suppose. Dusklings are nomadic, so it’s easy for a tribe to avoid anyone they don’t want to see. They’ve been avoiding me since that day. They never even asked whether I’d had a boy or girl.”
“Rollick’s family didn’t have any objection to our marriage. I don’t think they cared much either way. His only living relatives are two half-brothers. He has no quarrel with them, but they’ve never been close. They’ve never had much in common, and they have a significant age difference. After Rollick’s father and stepmother passed away, the sons had little reason to keep in contact. At least they don’t dislike me, though. That’s something.”
“I liked that thing you said about leaving your doors open. That’s what I did. That’s how Rollick and I found each other, and how our girls came to us. Actually, they came to our door in a literal way. I think that’s a good way to make a family. Our doors are still open.”
Uluki tried not to look shocked when Julen told her Rosemary didn’t know about his magic. How had he been able to keep such a secret from the woman he lived with and slept beside? Couldn’t she read behind every word and see in every line of his body that he was hiding something from her?
“I’m sure Rosemary will understand. It may take her awhile to get used to the idea, but she will. She’ll accept you and love you just as much as ever. Having magic doesn’t make you a different person. It doesn’t change who you are.”
The idea of his telling the authorities about his magic worried her, but surely he and Aorle knew best. Uluki knew little about the government, except that she should fear it. She merely nodded in response to his plan, then assured him, “I won’t say anything to Rosemary, of course. She should hear it from you, in your own way.”
She also agreed they would need to bide their time on the matter of the letter. “Yes, I suppose we’ll have to wait and see. We can’t make a move till he… or she… does.”
“By the way, they told me in the shanty town that you were giving away bread. They said you were helping people. I was wondering when you were going to go back? Well, if you were going to go back.” She shouldn’t assume, not after what had been done to him. “I thought maybe I could help. I want to do something for those people too.”
“My family didn’t care for my marriage either,” she admitted. “I don’t understand the differences in status between humans, like between farmer and noble.” In fact, Julen’s words puzzled her. Surely from a practical standpoint a farmer was a better choice? A farmer would need to rely only on himself and the luck of his harvests to feed his family, whereas a noble depended not only on those things but on the farmer’s fairness and goodwill. Such human ideas of social class made no sense to Uluki, but she didn’t ask for fear Julen would think she was mocking him. Maybe Rollick could explain it to her later. It probably had something to do with money and currency… another concept she only vaguely understood. Did people get paid to be nobles? She wasn’t sure.
“I was estranged from my family for years before that, but we had finally reconciled… when we had yet another rift because of who I chose to marry.”
“My family didn’t object on the basis of class, but of race. They could never fully accept that I had a human husband. They’d always pretend to forget about him, and claimed his name was too difficult to remember. My family always hoped that I would ‘come to my senses,’ as they called it, and leave Rollick. They hoped I would get tired of my marriage and go find a Duskling man, which they felt would be a more appropriate match. When I told them I was pregnant— and that I was happy about it— it finally got through to them that it wasn’t going to be the way they wanted. They’ve avoided me since then.” She laughed ruefully. “But not before my mother asked me, in front of everyone, if I had any idea who the father was. I’d been married for more than eight years at that point; it was obvious who the baby belonged to. It was just wishful thinking on her part, I suppose. Dusklings are nomadic, so it’s easy for a tribe to avoid anyone they don’t want to see. They’ve been avoiding me since that day. They never even asked whether I’d had a boy or girl.”
“Rollick’s family didn’t have any objection to our marriage. I don’t think they cared much either way. His only living relatives are two half-brothers. He has no quarrel with them, but they’ve never been close. They’ve never had much in common, and they have a significant age difference. After Rollick’s father and stepmother passed away, the sons had little reason to keep in contact. At least they don’t dislike me, though. That’s something.”
“I liked that thing you said about leaving your doors open. That’s what I did. That’s how Rollick and I found each other, and how our girls came to us. Actually, they came to our door in a literal way. I think that’s a good way to make a family. Our doors are still open.”
Uluki tried not to look shocked when Julen told her Rosemary didn’t know about his magic. How had he been able to keep such a secret from the woman he lived with and slept beside? Couldn’t she read behind every word and see in every line of his body that he was hiding something from her?
“I’m sure Rosemary will understand. It may take her awhile to get used to the idea, but she will. She’ll accept you and love you just as much as ever. Having magic doesn’t make you a different person. It doesn’t change who you are.”
The idea of his telling the authorities about his magic worried her, but surely he and Aorle knew best. Uluki knew little about the government, except that she should fear it. She merely nodded in response to his plan, then assured him, “I won’t say anything to Rosemary, of course. She should hear it from you, in your own way.”
She also agreed they would need to bide their time on the matter of the letter. “Yes, I suppose we’ll have to wait and see. We can’t make a move till he… or she… does.”
“By the way, they told me in the shanty town that you were giving away bread. They said you were helping people. I was wondering when you were going to go back? Well, if you were going to go back.” She shouldn’t assume, not after what had been done to him. “I thought maybe I could help. I want to do something for those people too.”
Julen shook his head as Uluki described the disrespectful way her family had treated Rollick and the contempt they’d shown for her marriage to him. Some behaviors, it seemed, crossed over all racial lines. Why did people have to be like that? Wasn’t there little enough love in the world? Shouldn’t everyone rejoice when a person they cared about found some, regardless of who the found it with?
“It’s terrible, what your mother said about the baby. I don’t understand how people can be so hurtful. When we were leaving Shim, some mercenaries tried to hurt Rosemary, and we were forced to fight them. Aorle and Krarug did most of the work, but I helped a little. After the battle I found out that Rosemary’s father had witnessed the whole thing. For the first time, he actually seemed proud of me. And I thought that seeing how I was willing to die to protect his daughter had proved to him that I had something more valuable than money to offer. But he was only pleased because he thought I’d used Rosemary as bait so I could kill the mercenaries and take their stuff. I just felt so...” Julen’s hand curled into a fist and he trailed off.
“Sometimes people like that -- like your family, like Rosemary’s father -- sometimes they make me really angry. Then I think maybe we should just feel sorry for them. They may be able to inflict small hurts on other people, but they’re the ones who truly suffer because of their prejudice. Rosemary’s father has created a situation where his own daughter won’t speak to him. Your mother will never know her own grandchild.” Julen reached out, giving Martin’s tummy a friendly tickle. “Here I am, not even your kin, and I’ve already had that pleasure.”
“Maybe, on some buried level, they’re jealous. Maybe they lash out because they envy what we have -- a love stronger than money or racial differences.” Julen shrugged. “Or maybe that’s just what I need to tell myself to keep from punching Rosemary’s father in the face.”
Julen noticed Uluki’s surprise when he admitted that Rosemary didn’t know about his magic. “I’m guessing that you and Rollick don’t keep many secrets from each other? Probably couldn’t, even if you wanted to? I and Rosemary will be like that one day. But we’ve only been married for a little over a year and I was away for four months of that time. Since she last saw me, I’ve changed in ways besides the magic.” Again, Julen thought back to their wedding day. How simple the life before them had seemed. “Of course, she knows I’m hiding something. She asked me to sing, and when I refused, we had a bad fight about it. But she won’t press me to say anything before I’m ready. That’s not her way.”
A chill blade seemed to scrape down Julen’s spine when Uluki mentioned returning to the shanty town. But he forced his response to be based on logic, not fear. “Thanks for offering to help. But I don’t know if I’m going back. On one hand, we can’t let Snyde win. On the other hand, we can’t risk endangering the people we want to help. Snyde hurt Kaydee because he wanted to make an example of her. What if he decides to make an example of anyone who accepts bread from us? We can’t bring them all back here to protect.”
And that reminded Julen of something else. “When the first group of refugees arrived, there was a little girl with them. She’s the one who led me to Kaydee. I told her to come back here, that she’d be safe, but I don’t know if she ever did. Have you seen her?"
“It’s terrible, what your mother said about the baby. I don’t understand how people can be so hurtful. When we were leaving Shim, some mercenaries tried to hurt Rosemary, and we were forced to fight them. Aorle and Krarug did most of the work, but I helped a little. After the battle I found out that Rosemary’s father had witnessed the whole thing. For the first time, he actually seemed proud of me. And I thought that seeing how I was willing to die to protect his daughter had proved to him that I had something more valuable than money to offer. But he was only pleased because he thought I’d used Rosemary as bait so I could kill the mercenaries and take their stuff. I just felt so...” Julen’s hand curled into a fist and he trailed off.
“Sometimes people like that -- like your family, like Rosemary’s father -- sometimes they make me really angry. Then I think maybe we should just feel sorry for them. They may be able to inflict small hurts on other people, but they’re the ones who truly suffer because of their prejudice. Rosemary’s father has created a situation where his own daughter won’t speak to him. Your mother will never know her own grandchild.” Julen reached out, giving Martin’s tummy a friendly tickle. “Here I am, not even your kin, and I’ve already had that pleasure.”
“Maybe, on some buried level, they’re jealous. Maybe they lash out because they envy what we have -- a love stronger than money or racial differences.” Julen shrugged. “Or maybe that’s just what I need to tell myself to keep from punching Rosemary’s father in the face.”
Julen noticed Uluki’s surprise when he admitted that Rosemary didn’t know about his magic. “I’m guessing that you and Rollick don’t keep many secrets from each other? Probably couldn’t, even if you wanted to? I and Rosemary will be like that one day. But we’ve only been married for a little over a year and I was away for four months of that time. Since she last saw me, I’ve changed in ways besides the magic.” Again, Julen thought back to their wedding day. How simple the life before them had seemed. “Of course, she knows I’m hiding something. She asked me to sing, and when I refused, we had a bad fight about it. But she won’t press me to say anything before I’m ready. That’s not her way.”
A chill blade seemed to scrape down Julen’s spine when Uluki mentioned returning to the shanty town. But he forced his response to be based on logic, not fear. “Thanks for offering to help. But I don’t know if I’m going back. On one hand, we can’t let Snyde win. On the other hand, we can’t risk endangering the people we want to help. Snyde hurt Kaydee because he wanted to make an example of her. What if he decides to make an example of anyone who accepts bread from us? We can’t bring them all back here to protect.”
And that reminded Julen of something else. “When the first group of refugees arrived, there was a little girl with them. She’s the one who led me to Kaydee. I told her to come back here, that she’d be safe, but I don’t know if she ever did. Have you seen her?"
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.
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Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki sighed. “It all just seems so ironic. Rollick is the sort of husband any sane parents should want for their daughter. He’s reliable, stable, and emotionally mature. He treats me and our children so very well. He’s loyal and faithful, and makes it clear he would never walk away from me, no matter what happened. We love each other deeply, and we're very happy. None of that makes any impression on my family, though, because his skin is a different colour than mine. And you too, you’re such a good man, but your wife’s family couldn’t accept you either. Why are people so blind? Why do they see only differences? I know there’s no answer to that.”
“I’m still a little sad about losing contact with them again, but I don’t regret my decision at all. I just wish… I wish we could all have been happy together. I wish I hadn’t been forced to make a choice. That was their doing, though. Rollick never wanted me to have to choose between them. But that’s how it happened, and they’re the ones who lost out on knowing a wonderful son-in-law, as well as their grandchildren.” She smiled sadly. “I think I feel sorry for them too.”
Uluki nodded to confirm what Julen said about the impossibility of her keeping secrets from Rollick. “Neither of us is that good at hiding things anyway, and we’ve learned to read each other too well. I can tell when something is bothering or worrying him, though not necessarily what it is, and he can tell the same with me. Like you said, it’s no magical mind connection; it’s familiarity. You and Rosemary will probably be the same way in a few years.”
It hadn’t registered with her before how short a time they’d been married. Their marriage wasn’t much older than Martin was, and they’d spent a solid chunk of it apart. They were essentially newlyweds. No wonder they were still working things out. She shouldn’t have been surprised.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep a secret like that. If I had to hold something inside and not tell Rollick, it would seem like a burden. It would make me feel alone. I don’t just tell him things because I feel like I should. I tell him because it makes me feel safe.”
She wondered if that would make any sense to Julen. If it did, he would probably see it as a weakness. He could obviously carry his own burdens.
Julen’s words about returning to the shanty town cut deeply into Uluki. It sounded like he was giving up. Her heart ached for him, but it also ached for those poor, unfortunate people still living there…
“You’re right Julen. We can’t bring them all back here. We brought six people from the shanty town with us last night. How many are left? Hundreds, maybe. Those people are in danger every day of their lives whether we’re there or not. Kaydee told me Snyde has beaten her before. The only thing that changed because you intervened was that she had someone to help her, and she had hope. You were not the cause of her pain. You saved her from it. What about the others? Who is going to save them if not us?”
“Yes, there is a risk that Snyde will try to make an example of others. The thing is, he’s probably going to do that no matter what we do. He’s not going to leave them alone just because we choose not to get involved. He and others like him will continue to terrorize those people. If we abandon them now, what lesson are we teaching? We teach them that evil chases away good. We teach them that hope is dead.”
“The fact we can’t bring everyone here is all the more reason to do what we can to help those left behind.” Uluki paused a moment and shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t say ‘we.’ You’ve already paid in blood. You were already brave, braver than most people would have been. Nothing more needs to be asked of you. You’ll make your own choice. I have to go back.”
So many people were still in danger. So many families just like hers. She wasn’t sure what she could do to help them, but she had to think of something.
Uluki hoped she hadn’t upset Julen too badly. She should have waited, should have given him more time to recover before she brought the subject up. The words were said now, though, and she couldn’t take them back. She could only hope he would understand.
“We did bring a little girl here. Her name is Bethany. She probably knows Kaydee; her mother did. Whether it’s the same child, I couldn’t say. I can ask her, though.” Could their fortune really be so good that she’d brought back the right person entirely by accident? “If turns out not to be her, we’ll go find the girl who helped you. Leaving her in the shanty town is too dangerous.”
“I’m still a little sad about losing contact with them again, but I don’t regret my decision at all. I just wish… I wish we could all have been happy together. I wish I hadn’t been forced to make a choice. That was their doing, though. Rollick never wanted me to have to choose between them. But that’s how it happened, and they’re the ones who lost out on knowing a wonderful son-in-law, as well as their grandchildren.” She smiled sadly. “I think I feel sorry for them too.”
Uluki nodded to confirm what Julen said about the impossibility of her keeping secrets from Rollick. “Neither of us is that good at hiding things anyway, and we’ve learned to read each other too well. I can tell when something is bothering or worrying him, though not necessarily what it is, and he can tell the same with me. Like you said, it’s no magical mind connection; it’s familiarity. You and Rosemary will probably be the same way in a few years.”
It hadn’t registered with her before how short a time they’d been married. Their marriage wasn’t much older than Martin was, and they’d spent a solid chunk of it apart. They were essentially newlyweds. No wonder they were still working things out. She shouldn’t have been surprised.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep a secret like that. If I had to hold something inside and not tell Rollick, it would seem like a burden. It would make me feel alone. I don’t just tell him things because I feel like I should. I tell him because it makes me feel safe.”
She wondered if that would make any sense to Julen. If it did, he would probably see it as a weakness. He could obviously carry his own burdens.
Julen’s words about returning to the shanty town cut deeply into Uluki. It sounded like he was giving up. Her heart ached for him, but it also ached for those poor, unfortunate people still living there…
“You’re right Julen. We can’t bring them all back here. We brought six people from the shanty town with us last night. How many are left? Hundreds, maybe. Those people are in danger every day of their lives whether we’re there or not. Kaydee told me Snyde has beaten her before. The only thing that changed because you intervened was that she had someone to help her, and she had hope. You were not the cause of her pain. You saved her from it. What about the others? Who is going to save them if not us?”
“Yes, there is a risk that Snyde will try to make an example of others. The thing is, he’s probably going to do that no matter what we do. He’s not going to leave them alone just because we choose not to get involved. He and others like him will continue to terrorize those people. If we abandon them now, what lesson are we teaching? We teach them that evil chases away good. We teach them that hope is dead.”
“The fact we can’t bring everyone here is all the more reason to do what we can to help those left behind.” Uluki paused a moment and shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t say ‘we.’ You’ve already paid in blood. You were already brave, braver than most people would have been. Nothing more needs to be asked of you. You’ll make your own choice. I have to go back.”
So many people were still in danger. So many families just like hers. She wasn’t sure what she could do to help them, but she had to think of something.
Uluki hoped she hadn’t upset Julen too badly. She should have waited, should have given him more time to recover before she brought the subject up. The words were said now, though, and she couldn’t take them back. She could only hope he would understand.
“We did bring a little girl here. Her name is Bethany. She probably knows Kaydee; her mother did. Whether it’s the same child, I couldn’t say. I can ask her, though.” Could their fortune really be so good that she’d brought back the right person entirely by accident? “If turns out not to be her, we’ll go find the girl who helped you. Leaving her in the shanty town is too dangerous.”
Julen managed to hold his tongue during most of Uluki’s speech. He understood her desire to alleviate the suffering she’d witnessed in the shanty town. After all, he’d felt the same thing. He still felt it. But he’d come to understand that good intentions were not enough, that acting rashly could cause more harm than benefit. And he was quite prepared to calmly argue his point.
Until Uluki excused him from returning to the shanty town.
Rare anger flared in Julen’s eyes. “Don’t say that,” he hissed. “Don’t you dare say that. Do you think my bravery has reached its limit? Do you think I’ve suddenly become a miser with my blood? If I thought it would truly save even one person, I’d march back to Snyde and let him beat me all over again. I’d do it until every man, woman, and child in that hellish slum had a chance for a better life.” Goaded by his fury, Julen jerked to his feet, towering over Uluki as he shouted down at her. “I’m not afraid to go back! You understand? I’m not a coward!”
At which point, quite understandably, Martin began to cry. The sound made Julen’s wrath shrivel and die. Staggering several steps backward, he felt ashamed of his outburst. What a great way to prove his courage -- by screaming at a small woman and her child. Unable to look at Uluki, Julen buried his face in his hands, drawing long, ragged breaths. And within this self-imposed darkness, he whispered his mantra, until some semblance of calm returned. Strength, not self-pity...strength, not self-pity...
Belatedly, Julen realized he hadn’t really been yelling at Uluki. Other faces swam before his eyes: Aorle, Rosemary, Snyde, and his own. Mostly his own. Those were the people he wanted to convince. Not poor Uluki, who’d probably intended no insult.
“I’m sorry,” Julen apologized, allowing his hands to drop to his sides. “I don’t know where that came from.”
Until Uluki excused him from returning to the shanty town.
Rare anger flared in Julen’s eyes. “Don’t say that,” he hissed. “Don’t you dare say that. Do you think my bravery has reached its limit? Do you think I’ve suddenly become a miser with my blood? If I thought it would truly save even one person, I’d march back to Snyde and let him beat me all over again. I’d do it until every man, woman, and child in that hellish slum had a chance for a better life.” Goaded by his fury, Julen jerked to his feet, towering over Uluki as he shouted down at her. “I’m not afraid to go back! You understand? I’m not a coward!”
At which point, quite understandably, Martin began to cry. The sound made Julen’s wrath shrivel and die. Staggering several steps backward, he felt ashamed of his outburst. What a great way to prove his courage -- by screaming at a small woman and her child. Unable to look at Uluki, Julen buried his face in his hands, drawing long, ragged breaths. And within this self-imposed darkness, he whispered his mantra, until some semblance of calm returned. Strength, not self-pity...strength, not self-pity...
Belatedly, Julen realized he hadn’t really been yelling at Uluki. Other faces swam before his eyes: Aorle, Rosemary, Snyde, and his own. Mostly his own. Those were the people he wanted to convince. Not poor Uluki, who’d probably intended no insult.
“I’m sorry,” Julen apologized, allowing his hands to drop to his sides. “I don’t know where that came from.”
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.
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Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki sat as still as she could as Julen shouted at her, ready to protect Martin’s body with her own if Julen should aim a kick at her in his anger, if he should forget the baby she was holding. The way he was looming over her made her worry he might move from words to blows. He didn’t, so she merely listened and waited till he was finished. She felt utterly numb inside as she absently patted the crying infant.
“I know you aren’t a coward. If I thought you were, I would never have broached the subject.”
She shouldn’t have broached it anyway. She was expecting too much.
“I’m certainly afraid to go back to the shanty town. After last night I’ve essentially painted a target on myself, and I would prefer not to die. Being cautious about danger is sensible, it’s not cowardice. If we spent our blood too freely, we wouldn’t have any left to give.”
She was actually rather surprised the subject of fear seemed such a painful one for him. Everyone was afraid sometimes. Uluki herself was afraid more than most, she often thought. Maybe if he saw why…
“Believe me, I do understand.” She pulled the sleeve of her dress back to the elbow, exposing the thin raised scars she had acquired years ago trying to protect herself from the repeated thrusts of a rapier wielded by one she’d once trusted with her life. Turning her head aside, she pulled the neckline of her dress down and slightly to the right, remaining perfectly modest but showing him the burn scar along her collarbone and the start of the wide, long-healed gash from a greatsword, a gash that ran the length of her body beneath her clothes. “When I talk about fear and pain, it’s as one who has felt both. I can’t presume to know what’s on your mind, of course. I’m no warrior. Maybe I just can’t see things the way you do. I do see your strength and bravery, though. Both of those things are quite obvious.”
“There’s no need to apologize, Julen. I’m the one who should be doing so. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
Uluki stood, gathering up Martin. “I should go. No doubt you have better things to do than waste your whole day chatting with me, and I’m sure I will find plenty of tasks to occupy me.”
Surely anything she turned her hand to would be better than what she was doing here, causing pain and trouble. She shouldn’t have said anything. She should have known the wounds were too raw. Couldn’t she do the simplest thing without making a bungling mess of it?
Uluki moved to the door, resting her hand on the knob. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling well today. I’ll let you know what I find out about the little girl.”
“I know you aren’t a coward. If I thought you were, I would never have broached the subject.”
She shouldn’t have broached it anyway. She was expecting too much.
“I’m certainly afraid to go back to the shanty town. After last night I’ve essentially painted a target on myself, and I would prefer not to die. Being cautious about danger is sensible, it’s not cowardice. If we spent our blood too freely, we wouldn’t have any left to give.”
She was actually rather surprised the subject of fear seemed such a painful one for him. Everyone was afraid sometimes. Uluki herself was afraid more than most, she often thought. Maybe if he saw why…
“Believe me, I do understand.” She pulled the sleeve of her dress back to the elbow, exposing the thin raised scars she had acquired years ago trying to protect herself from the repeated thrusts of a rapier wielded by one she’d once trusted with her life. Turning her head aside, she pulled the neckline of her dress down and slightly to the right, remaining perfectly modest but showing him the burn scar along her collarbone and the start of the wide, long-healed gash from a greatsword, a gash that ran the length of her body beneath her clothes. “When I talk about fear and pain, it’s as one who has felt both. I can’t presume to know what’s on your mind, of course. I’m no warrior. Maybe I just can’t see things the way you do. I do see your strength and bravery, though. Both of those things are quite obvious.”
“There’s no need to apologize, Julen. I’m the one who should be doing so. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
Uluki stood, gathering up Martin. “I should go. No doubt you have better things to do than waste your whole day chatting with me, and I’m sure I will find plenty of tasks to occupy me.”
Surely anything she turned her hand to would be better than what she was doing here, causing pain and trouble. She shouldn’t have said anything. She should have known the wounds were too raw. Couldn’t she do the simplest thing without making a bungling mess of it?
Uluki moved to the door, resting her hand on the knob. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling well today. I’ll let you know what I find out about the little girl.”
“Uluki, wait!” Julen took several steps toward the door, and then hesitated, worried that any seemingly aggressive action on his part might upset Uluki even further. When he spoke again, his voice was softer. “Please wait. I truly am sorry. It was not my right to speak to you like that.”
The revelation of her scars had shamed him even more than Martin’s crying. Obviously, she knew how it felt to be gravely injured. And, unlike him, she wasn’t pitching a fit about it. “Forgive me. Because you’re small, and because I’ve never seen you wield a weapon, I assumed you couldn’t understand being badly hurt in battle. But I forgot that pain does not confine itself to warriors. Clearly, your body carries the marks of your understanding. Forgive me for misjudging you.”
“You’re right. We can’t abandon all those people in the shanty town. I never meant to imply that. But I’m not sure that continuing to hand out bread is the best course of action right now. If I go alone, I make myself a target for Snyde. If I go with a band of warriors, I risk scaring away the people I want to help. You spoke about the lessons we’re teaching the shanty town’s residents. Unfortunately, after what happened to Kaydee and me, the only lesson we’ve taught them so far is that they’re right to be afraid.”
Julen shook his head, daunted by the complexity of it all. “We should speak to Aorle. He may have ideas about how it would be best to proceed. And, in any case, whatever we do will affect all of us, so he should be informed of it. I understand that now.”
“I deeply regret it if my outburst has adversely affected our friendship...or changed your mind about other things we discussed today.” Julen worried that his fit of temper might have convinced Uluki that he would be unfit to serve as a guardian for her children. “I’m not normally like that.”
Carefully, Julen approached Uluki. He hoped that she would not wince or shrink away from him, although he certainly wouldn’t blame her if she did. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” He gestured up and down, to indicate her body, and all old wounds she’d shown him. “Why did someone want to hurt you like that?”
The revelation of her scars had shamed him even more than Martin’s crying. Obviously, she knew how it felt to be gravely injured. And, unlike him, she wasn’t pitching a fit about it. “Forgive me. Because you’re small, and because I’ve never seen you wield a weapon, I assumed you couldn’t understand being badly hurt in battle. But I forgot that pain does not confine itself to warriors. Clearly, your body carries the marks of your understanding. Forgive me for misjudging you.”
“You’re right. We can’t abandon all those people in the shanty town. I never meant to imply that. But I’m not sure that continuing to hand out bread is the best course of action right now. If I go alone, I make myself a target for Snyde. If I go with a band of warriors, I risk scaring away the people I want to help. You spoke about the lessons we’re teaching the shanty town’s residents. Unfortunately, after what happened to Kaydee and me, the only lesson we’ve taught them so far is that they’re right to be afraid.”
Julen shook his head, daunted by the complexity of it all. “We should speak to Aorle. He may have ideas about how it would be best to proceed. And, in any case, whatever we do will affect all of us, so he should be informed of it. I understand that now.”
“I deeply regret it if my outburst has adversely affected our friendship...or changed your mind about other things we discussed today.” Julen worried that his fit of temper might have convinced Uluki that he would be unfit to serve as a guardian for her children. “I’m not normally like that.”
Carefully, Julen approached Uluki. He hoped that she would not wince or shrink away from him, although he certainly wouldn’t blame her if she did. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” He gestured up and down, to indicate her body, and all old wounds she’d shown him. “Why did someone want to hurt you like that?”
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.
-
Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki waited, her hand still on the knob, and looked at Julen. There was contrition written all over his face, but it wasn’t contrition she cared about. She wanted to make sure the explosive anger was really gone. If he hadn’t hurt her already, he wouldn’t, but there was no sense talking to him more right now if he was just going to shout. He seemed completely calm, so she sat back down near the door.
She shrugged in response to his apology. “People often misjudge me. It’s no great thing. You’ll come to know me better in time.”
“I’m sure now that you’ve seen, you pity poor Rollick,” Uluki said, laughing a little to ease the tension. “Most people don’t know that the woman he shares his bed with is so scarred. He says he doesn’t mind, though. He calls me beautiful.” Uluki didn’t understand how her husband could feel that way, how anyone could find her attractive, but she was glad he did.
“I don’t know exactly what to do about the shanty town either,” she confessed. “I agree we should talk to Aorle. I also think it’s worth taking time to plan, to make sure what we do next is beneficial. There’s no need to rush. Just know you have my support. You’ve already done a great deal of good. Now we figure how to do some more.”
“You don’t need to worry about this affecting our friendship, or anything else. We all have moments when we aren’t at our best. What kind of person would I be to pass judgment on you for that? It’s alright,” Uluki told him, perfectly genuinely. She didn’t feel any fear or concern as he moved closer to her.
She smiled a little sadly that he seemed surprised someone would injure her. “Oh Julen, people have had many reasons for wanting to hurt me. I know these scars are ugly, but they aren’t the worst injuries I’ve ever had. These are just the ones I wasn’t able to heal by magic.”
“Those,” she indicated the marks on her arm, “And the matching ones on my ribs are from a battle, but not from an enemy. A friend decided part way through that she regretted her loyalties, and wanted to switch sides. She thought killing one of her own was the most efficient way to prove her devotion to her new friends… new friends because she expected them to win. I suppose I was the one she would have missed the least.”
Uluki’s mouth twisted slightly in pain when she said that, not because of the wounds, but because of the betrayal. “I was scared for a long time after that. It was hard to trust anyone, or feel safe. You can’t live that way forever, though. It either gets better, or it gets worse. For me it got better, because I found people who would be loyal, people who wouldn’t hurt me. Not a lot of people. Two. But it was enough. After awhile I didn’t feel so scared anymore. That was when I first came to this world. My magic was disrupted when I got pulled out of the Astral Plane so suddenly, so nothing could heal my injuries but time, and it left its mark.”
“The greatsword wound was also from a friend, but not from a betrayal. He was ripped from the Astral Plane like the rest of us, but he was human and still getting used to magic at all, let alone switching worlds so fast. It drove him mad. He stood in the street attacking everything he could reach— mostly inanimate objects, it made no difference to him. I didn’t know what had happened to his mind. I thought he was just frightened. I thought if I could just talk to him, tell him that it was safe, that he’d calm down. It didn’t work. He cut me as soon as he got close to me, before I had a chance to say anything but his name. That scar runs all the way down my body. I used my magic to close the wound so I wouldn’t bleed to death, but I had no time to do anything more. Another friend was hit with a poison dart, not by the man on a rampage but by another who saw an opportunity, and it was all I could do to save the poisoned one’s life. I didn’t have enough magic left to heal myself further, so I bear the scar.”
“The burn…” She suddenly looked down, embarrassed. “That I did to myself, because I felt guilty. I could have healed it, but I wanted it to hurt. I wanted everyone to see how bad I was. Someone died who I should have been able to save. I thought that was how I could atone.” She paused, remembering.
“Once one of my friends was kidnapped by another man who liked to teach lessons, only in this case to those of us who aren’t human. The man took Elijah—that was my friend— to an abandoned warehouse and beat and tortured him nearly to death, then used him as bait for the rest of us. We knew it was a trap, but we couldn’t just leave him. My friends and I entered the warehouse, and suddenly the platform underneath us started to shake and then collapse. I fell. My friend Mercedes— I think of her as my sister, but she’s not a blood relative, she’s human— she reached out to try to help me, but it was too far. The ground was hard, and there were rocks. A lot of my bones were broken. For a moment I stopped breathing, and they couldn’t feel my heartbeat. I heard the spirits telling me to go back, that it wasn’t time for me to die, but the others said I lived because they got my heart to beat again and there were no spirits. I don’t know.”
“I didn’t wake up right away. I was the only healer who was there, and no one else knew how to help Elijah. He died.” She didn’t cry, but her voice was sad. “That’s why I hurt myself. I shouldn’t have done that, though. It didn’t help. It just made it worse, no matter what the paladin said. No one else should do what I did to myself. It was a mistake.”
“None of those things happened because anyone wanted me specifically to be hurt, of course. There was one who did want me to suffer… but it wasn’t a person. The evil god, the one who possessed Rollick, came to hate me. It hated me for what I did to strengthen the community, and for the hope I gave to Rollick. It wanted me dead, but he wouldn’t let it hurt me. As long as it was in him, he protected me. In the battle, though, after he fell…” She shuddered a little at the mention of how Rollick had been hurt, but continued. “It went into a different host, one who proved cooperative. Then it finally had its shot at me. It burned me first, badly, and then it used magic… I don’t know exactly what it did. Suddenly I was covered with wounds, bleeding both on the outside and internally. It was too much. I was dying. In the instant before I lost consciousness I was so afraid, not of my own death, but I once I was gone, I wasn’t sure if there was anyone left who would help Rollick, or even could. More than anything, I wanted him to have a chance at life, but I was too weak...”
“I didn’t die, obviously. Another healer saw what happened and helped me before it was too late. And Rollick too, as you can see, is among the living, though that wasn’t such a simple thing for him. We both got a chance at life, and we finally got to be together. But I was a breath away from…”
“Anyway, that doesn’t matter. All this to say: I’ve managed to accumulate some scars to both body and soul. I suppose it’s made me who I am.”
She shrugged in response to his apology. “People often misjudge me. It’s no great thing. You’ll come to know me better in time.”
“I’m sure now that you’ve seen, you pity poor Rollick,” Uluki said, laughing a little to ease the tension. “Most people don’t know that the woman he shares his bed with is so scarred. He says he doesn’t mind, though. He calls me beautiful.” Uluki didn’t understand how her husband could feel that way, how anyone could find her attractive, but she was glad he did.
“I don’t know exactly what to do about the shanty town either,” she confessed. “I agree we should talk to Aorle. I also think it’s worth taking time to plan, to make sure what we do next is beneficial. There’s no need to rush. Just know you have my support. You’ve already done a great deal of good. Now we figure how to do some more.”
“You don’t need to worry about this affecting our friendship, or anything else. We all have moments when we aren’t at our best. What kind of person would I be to pass judgment on you for that? It’s alright,” Uluki told him, perfectly genuinely. She didn’t feel any fear or concern as he moved closer to her.
She smiled a little sadly that he seemed surprised someone would injure her. “Oh Julen, people have had many reasons for wanting to hurt me. I know these scars are ugly, but they aren’t the worst injuries I’ve ever had. These are just the ones I wasn’t able to heal by magic.”
“Those,” she indicated the marks on her arm, “And the matching ones on my ribs are from a battle, but not from an enemy. A friend decided part way through that she regretted her loyalties, and wanted to switch sides. She thought killing one of her own was the most efficient way to prove her devotion to her new friends… new friends because she expected them to win. I suppose I was the one she would have missed the least.”
Uluki’s mouth twisted slightly in pain when she said that, not because of the wounds, but because of the betrayal. “I was scared for a long time after that. It was hard to trust anyone, or feel safe. You can’t live that way forever, though. It either gets better, or it gets worse. For me it got better, because I found people who would be loyal, people who wouldn’t hurt me. Not a lot of people. Two. But it was enough. After awhile I didn’t feel so scared anymore. That was when I first came to this world. My magic was disrupted when I got pulled out of the Astral Plane so suddenly, so nothing could heal my injuries but time, and it left its mark.”
“The greatsword wound was also from a friend, but not from a betrayal. He was ripped from the Astral Plane like the rest of us, but he was human and still getting used to magic at all, let alone switching worlds so fast. It drove him mad. He stood in the street attacking everything he could reach— mostly inanimate objects, it made no difference to him. I didn’t know what had happened to his mind. I thought he was just frightened. I thought if I could just talk to him, tell him that it was safe, that he’d calm down. It didn’t work. He cut me as soon as he got close to me, before I had a chance to say anything but his name. That scar runs all the way down my body. I used my magic to close the wound so I wouldn’t bleed to death, but I had no time to do anything more. Another friend was hit with a poison dart, not by the man on a rampage but by another who saw an opportunity, and it was all I could do to save the poisoned one’s life. I didn’t have enough magic left to heal myself further, so I bear the scar.”
“The burn…” She suddenly looked down, embarrassed. “That I did to myself, because I felt guilty. I could have healed it, but I wanted it to hurt. I wanted everyone to see how bad I was. Someone died who I should have been able to save. I thought that was how I could atone.” She paused, remembering.
“Once one of my friends was kidnapped by another man who liked to teach lessons, only in this case to those of us who aren’t human. The man took Elijah—that was my friend— to an abandoned warehouse and beat and tortured him nearly to death, then used him as bait for the rest of us. We knew it was a trap, but we couldn’t just leave him. My friends and I entered the warehouse, and suddenly the platform underneath us started to shake and then collapse. I fell. My friend Mercedes— I think of her as my sister, but she’s not a blood relative, she’s human— she reached out to try to help me, but it was too far. The ground was hard, and there were rocks. A lot of my bones were broken. For a moment I stopped breathing, and they couldn’t feel my heartbeat. I heard the spirits telling me to go back, that it wasn’t time for me to die, but the others said I lived because they got my heart to beat again and there were no spirits. I don’t know.”
“I didn’t wake up right away. I was the only healer who was there, and no one else knew how to help Elijah. He died.” She didn’t cry, but her voice was sad. “That’s why I hurt myself. I shouldn’t have done that, though. It didn’t help. It just made it worse, no matter what the paladin said. No one else should do what I did to myself. It was a mistake.”
“None of those things happened because anyone wanted me specifically to be hurt, of course. There was one who did want me to suffer… but it wasn’t a person. The evil god, the one who possessed Rollick, came to hate me. It hated me for what I did to strengthen the community, and for the hope I gave to Rollick. It wanted me dead, but he wouldn’t let it hurt me. As long as it was in him, he protected me. In the battle, though, after he fell…” She shuddered a little at the mention of how Rollick had been hurt, but continued. “It went into a different host, one who proved cooperative. Then it finally had its shot at me. It burned me first, badly, and then it used magic… I don’t know exactly what it did. Suddenly I was covered with wounds, bleeding both on the outside and internally. It was too much. I was dying. In the instant before I lost consciousness I was so afraid, not of my own death, but I once I was gone, I wasn’t sure if there was anyone left who would help Rollick, or even could. More than anything, I wanted him to have a chance at life, but I was too weak...”
“I didn’t die, obviously. Another healer saw what happened and helped me before it was too late. And Rollick too, as you can see, is among the living, though that wasn’t such a simple thing for him. We both got a chance at life, and we finally got to be together. But I was a breath away from…”
“Anyway, that doesn’t matter. All this to say: I’ve managed to accumulate some scars to both body and soul. I suppose it’s made me who I am.”
When Uluki sat, Julen joined her on the floor. Standing up reminded him too much of his outburst, of the way Uluki had shifted Martin in her arms as if she was afraid that Julen might attack. Julen was unused to intimidating anyone, not even small women or babies, and he found that he didn’t like it. The experience left a bad taste in his mouth. Thinking back on the mercenaries he’d encountered in Shim, he didn’t understand the enjoyment they obviously derived from bullying people. Upsetting Uluki hadn’t made him feel more like a man. Instead, it made him feel less like one.
Julen listened intently as Uluki explained her scars. She didn’t call herself a warrior, yet she’d been in more battles than Julen. Perhaps more battles than even Aorle. Julen couldn’t believe that she’d through so much, suffered so greatly, but still managed to remain so cheerful and so gentle. Truly, it was a testament to the great strength that lived in her petite body. In her own way, she was as formidable an opponent as Krarug -- another person Julen had been too quick to misjudge. Once again, Julen reminded himself to base his opinions on the heart, not on what could be seen from the outside.
“I can’t imagine what most of that must have felt like,” he admitted, when Uluki had finished. “I’m still having trouble getting used to the idea of complete strangers attacking me. To be intentionally struck by someone I believed was an ally...a friend...it would take a long time before I felt comfortable trusting someone to guard my back. Fortunately, Aorle possesses a talent for seeing into people’s hearts. He can actually hear the cries of anyone they’ve wronged.” Julen shuddered slightly. That particular aspect of being Angelsworn still seemed like a terrible burden to carry. “With luck, his judgment will spare us from the sort of betrayal you survived.”
“Your other friend...the one who went mad when he was ripped from the Astral Plane...whatever happened to him? Did he eventually recover?” Sometimes, when the world seemed to be at its darkest, Julen worried that his magic would grow stronger and more uncontrollable, blurring the line between reality and illusion, slowly driving him insane. Because of those doubts, the fate of someone else who had lost their mind due to magic was of considerable interest to him.
Uluki’s story about why she’d burned herself sounded uncomfortably familiar. More than any of her other answers to his question, it stirred an aching sort of compassion inside Julen. Carefully, ready to retract his hand if Uluki showed any signs of nervousness, Julen reached out and touched her leg. “The priest at the church my father attended was very big on repentance through suffering. To be honest, I think he was just very big on suffering in general. He seemed to believe that being miserable made us less sinful.” Julen shook his head. “But you’re right, it doesn’t help. Punishing ourselves just wastes the energy we could use to do true good. An act like adopting Dash and Zee makes the world a far better place than any amount of burning, beating, or whipping ever could.”
“When Aorle and I first began my training, I did a bad thing. I used magic when I shouldn’t have. And a boy may have died because of it. But Aorle didn’t suggest that I hurt myself. The repentance he proposed was very practical, designed to do what could be done to still help the boy.” Julen still remembered how terrifying it had been to go to the city guard, to speak with people who, if they sensed even a hint of his magic, needed no other reason to arrest him. At the time, he would have preferred it if Aorle had simply told him to hold a hot iron to his flesh for a few moments. But even though nothing had come of it, Aorle’s choice of repentance had been the right one, and Julen was glad that he’d gone through with it.
“I guess you’re right. I guess our scars do make us who we are. It’s just that the first time it happens...you’re not always sure who that person is going to be. And it’s a little bit scary not knowing.”
Julen listened intently as Uluki explained her scars. She didn’t call herself a warrior, yet she’d been in more battles than Julen. Perhaps more battles than even Aorle. Julen couldn’t believe that she’d through so much, suffered so greatly, but still managed to remain so cheerful and so gentle. Truly, it was a testament to the great strength that lived in her petite body. In her own way, she was as formidable an opponent as Krarug -- another person Julen had been too quick to misjudge. Once again, Julen reminded himself to base his opinions on the heart, not on what could be seen from the outside.
“I can’t imagine what most of that must have felt like,” he admitted, when Uluki had finished. “I’m still having trouble getting used to the idea of complete strangers attacking me. To be intentionally struck by someone I believed was an ally...a friend...it would take a long time before I felt comfortable trusting someone to guard my back. Fortunately, Aorle possesses a talent for seeing into people’s hearts. He can actually hear the cries of anyone they’ve wronged.” Julen shuddered slightly. That particular aspect of being Angelsworn still seemed like a terrible burden to carry. “With luck, his judgment will spare us from the sort of betrayal you survived.”
“Your other friend...the one who went mad when he was ripped from the Astral Plane...whatever happened to him? Did he eventually recover?” Sometimes, when the world seemed to be at its darkest, Julen worried that his magic would grow stronger and more uncontrollable, blurring the line between reality and illusion, slowly driving him insane. Because of those doubts, the fate of someone else who had lost their mind due to magic was of considerable interest to him.
Uluki’s story about why she’d burned herself sounded uncomfortably familiar. More than any of her other answers to his question, it stirred an aching sort of compassion inside Julen. Carefully, ready to retract his hand if Uluki showed any signs of nervousness, Julen reached out and touched her leg. “The priest at the church my father attended was very big on repentance through suffering. To be honest, I think he was just very big on suffering in general. He seemed to believe that being miserable made us less sinful.” Julen shook his head. “But you’re right, it doesn’t help. Punishing ourselves just wastes the energy we could use to do true good. An act like adopting Dash and Zee makes the world a far better place than any amount of burning, beating, or whipping ever could.”
“When Aorle and I first began my training, I did a bad thing. I used magic when I shouldn’t have. And a boy may have died because of it. But Aorle didn’t suggest that I hurt myself. The repentance he proposed was very practical, designed to do what could be done to still help the boy.” Julen still remembered how terrifying it had been to go to the city guard, to speak with people who, if they sensed even a hint of his magic, needed no other reason to arrest him. At the time, he would have preferred it if Aorle had simply told him to hold a hot iron to his flesh for a few moments. But even though nothing had come of it, Aorle’s choice of repentance had been the right one, and Julen was glad that he’d gone through with it.
“I guess you’re right. I guess our scars do make us who we are. It’s just that the first time it happens...you’re not always sure who that person is going to be. And it’s a little bit scary not knowing.”
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.
-
Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki was grateful for Julen’s sympathy about the friend who had turned on her. “I came to believe that everyone would betray me if it was convenient,” she admitted. “Lie to me me, hurt me, leave me…” She shook her head. “That isn’t true, though. Maybe most people would, but not everyone. Mara isn’t the only person who ever betrayed me. She isn’t the only person I considered a friend who tried to hurt me, although she was the only one of them I fully trusted. But I finally learned not everyone would do that.”
“Everything seems different now that I’m not alone. Nothing hurts as much now because I have someone to hold me while I cry, and people who love me no matter what. I never thought I’d find that, but I did, and it changed the whole world.”
It probably sounded like an exaggeration, but it wasn’t. Uluki had always smiled, but for all those years she’d wandered by herself, she’d felt like she was filled with ice shards, or maybe broken glass. She was supposed to be the healer, but she’d needed others to heal her too. She had no regrets about that, only gratitude for the happiness she’d found.
“Aorle’s gift sounds…” She didn’t want to say something that would offend Julen about the man he so obviously admired, and with good reason, but then she remembered his shudder. “Well, it sounds horrible. I suppose it’s useful, but I can’t imagine… hearing all that suffering, and being unable to relieve it. You can heal the wounds, avenge the dead, but you can never…” She trailed off. “Even if it would protect me from betrayal, I don’t envy him what he hears, or the burden he must carry because of it.”
Uluki could tell Julen was concerned about the fate of her friend who went mad, but she wasn’t sure quite why it seemed so personal for him. She could see little in the story that applied to what she knew so far about Julen’s life. She supposed it had simply engaged the compassion he felt for people in general. “My friend— Aligosh— he didn’t get better, unfortunately.” She wished she could give him better news, but she had to be truthful. “We hoped he would improve in time. I still think he would have. We managed to contain him safely, initially. He was surrounded by doctors and healers, but it wasn’t something… it wasn’t something physical that was wrong with him. It wasn’t something any magic I know of could have healed. I can take away pain, but not the memory of it.”
“I thought his chances of recovery were good, though. I thought that with time and patience and care, he would return to himself. He died before we had a chance to see. He didn’t die because he was mad, at least not directly.”
She wasn’t sure how to explain this. So far Julen had seemed understanding, but before they had spoken in general terms, not specifics. She didn’t want to frighten him. “When the evil god first invaded Rollick’s body, it had control, not him. He fought, and he regained a great deal of that control, but for the first few hours… for the first few hours he couldn’t stop what it wanted to do.”
“Aligosh put himself in the evil god’s path. I don’t know if he realized what he was doing. I think that it was probably simply instinct, a reaction from years of training as a warrior. Either way, the god killed him, and many more besides.”
“It wasn’t Rollick who killed Aligosh, or any of the others who died that day. It was Rollick’s sword, his hands, his body… but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his mind, or his will. He could only watch and suffer as that beast slaughtered people, using the body it had stolen.” Her eyes begged for compassion and understanding, not condemnation or fear. “Rollick’s body… but not him.”
Uluki was surprised by Julen’s touch, but not frightened. She laid her hand gently on his, a gesture of friendship and reassurance.
Julen’s father’s god sounded frightening, as did his priest. The more she heard about them, the more disquieted she was. “I think being miserable makes people more sinful, not less. When we don’t have any hope, it’s harder to see a point to anything. It’s harder to see that it matters what we do. I’ve seen no evidence that suffering makes people act any better, in fact much the opposite.” She should set the record straight on one thing, though. “When we adopted Dash and Zee, we didn’t think of it as trying to do something good.”
Had Uluki actually ever intentionally done a good deed? She couldn’t think of one. That realization shook her deeply, in no small part because she’d never thought about it that way before. She must be a very horrible person. Still troubled, she pushed the thought aside for more consideration later and returned to the topic at hand. She found that rather hard to explain.
“They came to stay with us, and before long we came to think of them as our daughters. We enjoyed having them as part of our family. I know they’ve been broken and hurt, I know they’ve suffered, but so have Rollick and I. It just seemed… it made sense for people who are hurt to be part of our family. Being a family is a way to heal. It’s why I… Rollick loving me is why my soul doesn’t have open wounds anymore, just scars. I think some of Dash and Zee’s wounds have also healed, being our daughters… but they’re our daughters because we love them, not because we intended to do a good deed.” Credit only where credit was due, after all.
“Aorle seems like a very kind man. I’m so glad. I was scared of him at first, like I said, but I’m not anymore.” She was glad he hadn’t hurt Julen, just like she was glad he hadn’t hurt her family, but her nervousness about him had passed. Her breath no longer caught in her throat when Julen began an Aorle story. She no longer feared the endings. “I’m so sorry to hear about that boy. I know you didn’t mean for it to happen.” She wanted to leave the subject open, to allow him to volunteer more if he wanted to, but didn’t think she ought to press him. Then, though she knew it was unlikely, “Is there any way I can be of help?”
She nodded her understanding in response to his worries about the scars. “I’m not sure we ever know how we’ll react, Julen. I’m not sure you can ever be really prepared for it. You may be hurt in a hundred different ways, but then life still finds a way to surprise you.” She wouldn’t have expected to be so affected by what she’d seen in the shanty town, to be so moved by the sufferings of a man she had just met and to feel so maternal about a girl she didn’t even know. None of her scars had protected her from that. “I think we just have to rely on those we love, and do the best we can. If you ever need anything, or there is a way I can make your path easier, I will be glad to do what I can. Or I can just listen.”
“I don’t think we ever find who we are, and stay that way. I think it’s a constant process of change, of refinement. You’ve had wounds already. You’ve taken wounds from your father, and from Rosemary’s family’s treatment of you, from the boy who got hurt, from the battles you’ve fought. You’ve faced all those things, and you remain warm and caring and compassionate. You remain brave and willing to fight to defend those who can’t defend themselves. That isn’t going to change all of a sudden, no matter what you may face.”
“Our scars may shape us, but they don’t define us. Whatever happens, you’ll still be yourself. You’ll continue to protect the innocent when you can and to care about those close to you, just as you did when you were a farmer, and like you still do now that you’re a warrior too. You’ll do that no matter what the future holds.” She wondered what it would hold for him. She knew little of his ambitions, except to be a father. “What is it that you hope to do in the future?”
“Everything seems different now that I’m not alone. Nothing hurts as much now because I have someone to hold me while I cry, and people who love me no matter what. I never thought I’d find that, but I did, and it changed the whole world.”
It probably sounded like an exaggeration, but it wasn’t. Uluki had always smiled, but for all those years she’d wandered by herself, she’d felt like she was filled with ice shards, or maybe broken glass. She was supposed to be the healer, but she’d needed others to heal her too. She had no regrets about that, only gratitude for the happiness she’d found.
“Aorle’s gift sounds…” She didn’t want to say something that would offend Julen about the man he so obviously admired, and with good reason, but then she remembered his shudder. “Well, it sounds horrible. I suppose it’s useful, but I can’t imagine… hearing all that suffering, and being unable to relieve it. You can heal the wounds, avenge the dead, but you can never…” She trailed off. “Even if it would protect me from betrayal, I don’t envy him what he hears, or the burden he must carry because of it.”
Uluki could tell Julen was concerned about the fate of her friend who went mad, but she wasn’t sure quite why it seemed so personal for him. She could see little in the story that applied to what she knew so far about Julen’s life. She supposed it had simply engaged the compassion he felt for people in general. “My friend— Aligosh— he didn’t get better, unfortunately.” She wished she could give him better news, but she had to be truthful. “We hoped he would improve in time. I still think he would have. We managed to contain him safely, initially. He was surrounded by doctors and healers, but it wasn’t something… it wasn’t something physical that was wrong with him. It wasn’t something any magic I know of could have healed. I can take away pain, but not the memory of it.”
“I thought his chances of recovery were good, though. I thought that with time and patience and care, he would return to himself. He died before we had a chance to see. He didn’t die because he was mad, at least not directly.”
She wasn’t sure how to explain this. So far Julen had seemed understanding, but before they had spoken in general terms, not specifics. She didn’t want to frighten him. “When the evil god first invaded Rollick’s body, it had control, not him. He fought, and he regained a great deal of that control, but for the first few hours… for the first few hours he couldn’t stop what it wanted to do.”
“Aligosh put himself in the evil god’s path. I don’t know if he realized what he was doing. I think that it was probably simply instinct, a reaction from years of training as a warrior. Either way, the god killed him, and many more besides.”
“It wasn’t Rollick who killed Aligosh, or any of the others who died that day. It was Rollick’s sword, his hands, his body… but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his mind, or his will. He could only watch and suffer as that beast slaughtered people, using the body it had stolen.” Her eyes begged for compassion and understanding, not condemnation or fear. “Rollick’s body… but not him.”
Uluki was surprised by Julen’s touch, but not frightened. She laid her hand gently on his, a gesture of friendship and reassurance.
Julen’s father’s god sounded frightening, as did his priest. The more she heard about them, the more disquieted she was. “I think being miserable makes people more sinful, not less. When we don’t have any hope, it’s harder to see a point to anything. It’s harder to see that it matters what we do. I’ve seen no evidence that suffering makes people act any better, in fact much the opposite.” She should set the record straight on one thing, though. “When we adopted Dash and Zee, we didn’t think of it as trying to do something good.”
Had Uluki actually ever intentionally done a good deed? She couldn’t think of one. That realization shook her deeply, in no small part because she’d never thought about it that way before. She must be a very horrible person. Still troubled, she pushed the thought aside for more consideration later and returned to the topic at hand. She found that rather hard to explain.
“They came to stay with us, and before long we came to think of them as our daughters. We enjoyed having them as part of our family. I know they’ve been broken and hurt, I know they’ve suffered, but so have Rollick and I. It just seemed… it made sense for people who are hurt to be part of our family. Being a family is a way to heal. It’s why I… Rollick loving me is why my soul doesn’t have open wounds anymore, just scars. I think some of Dash and Zee’s wounds have also healed, being our daughters… but they’re our daughters because we love them, not because we intended to do a good deed.” Credit only where credit was due, after all.
“Aorle seems like a very kind man. I’m so glad. I was scared of him at first, like I said, but I’m not anymore.” She was glad he hadn’t hurt Julen, just like she was glad he hadn’t hurt her family, but her nervousness about him had passed. Her breath no longer caught in her throat when Julen began an Aorle story. She no longer feared the endings. “I’m so sorry to hear about that boy. I know you didn’t mean for it to happen.” She wanted to leave the subject open, to allow him to volunteer more if he wanted to, but didn’t think she ought to press him. Then, though she knew it was unlikely, “Is there any way I can be of help?”
She nodded her understanding in response to his worries about the scars. “I’m not sure we ever know how we’ll react, Julen. I’m not sure you can ever be really prepared for it. You may be hurt in a hundred different ways, but then life still finds a way to surprise you.” She wouldn’t have expected to be so affected by what she’d seen in the shanty town, to be so moved by the sufferings of a man she had just met and to feel so maternal about a girl she didn’t even know. None of her scars had protected her from that. “I think we just have to rely on those we love, and do the best we can. If you ever need anything, or there is a way I can make your path easier, I will be glad to do what I can. Or I can just listen.”
“I don’t think we ever find who we are, and stay that way. I think it’s a constant process of change, of refinement. You’ve had wounds already. You’ve taken wounds from your father, and from Rosemary’s family’s treatment of you, from the boy who got hurt, from the battles you’ve fought. You’ve faced all those things, and you remain warm and caring and compassionate. You remain brave and willing to fight to defend those who can’t defend themselves. That isn’t going to change all of a sudden, no matter what you may face.”
“Our scars may shape us, but they don’t define us. Whatever happens, you’ll still be yourself. You’ll continue to protect the innocent when you can and to care about those close to you, just as you did when you were a farmer, and like you still do now that you’re a warrior too. You’ll do that no matter what the future holds.” She wondered what it would hold for him. She knew little of his ambitions, except to be a father. “What is it that you hope to do in the future?”
-
Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
((NPC Post))
After breakfast, Zee asked, “Is there going to be more digging today?” When Rollick confirmed this, Zee seemed excited about the prospect. “I like digging,” she said brightly.
Though Rollick didn’t mind digging, it didn’t seem to him the sort of thing one would particularly like. It was nice that Zee was enthusiastic. Dash did not volunteer to come along, of course. She was too frail to be of much use with a shovel, and would likely do herself an injury if she tried. Instead, she suggested she could help Kaydee learn to sew, like Uluki had offered the night before.
Rollick and Zee bid the two girls goodbye, and went downstairs. They began getting out food as warriors and civilians alike congregated for breakfast. Uluki wasn’t back yet, but that didn’t surprise Rollick. Most people thought a healer’s job was just to patch up injuries using magic, but Rollick knew better. A large part of Uluki’s healing came not from spells, but from the comfort and reassurance she could give. No doubt she and Julen were still talking. Julen had certainly suffered the night before; Rollick hoped speaking to Uluki would bring him some peace. While she was busy with that, Rollick should see to getting things started.
He spoke first to the civilians. “I know that you have all come from a difficult situation, and I have no wish to drive you into labours that will be too much for you, or to cause you harm. You came here expecting to help, but you need do no more than you are able. I would like to begin digging fortifications today, and those of you who are strong enough can assist with that. For those of you who cannot, we will find other tasks more suited…” He looked around doubtfully. None of them were warriors, and in fact none of them looked particularly strong or healthy.
Jenny laughed. Today her face was free of makeup, and she looked younger and prettier without it. “Sure, we’ll help you. I likely ain’t much good digging holes, but I’ll give it a try. Better than earning my day’s wage on my back.”
Rollick was suddenly a little uncomfortable, but the other women seemed amused. Two others, who he learned were named Masha and Louise, also offered to help, but when Becky also seemed inclined to pick up a shovel, he shook his head. “Not till after your baby is born. I won’t have you risk your child for this.”
“But I’ve been—”
He held up a hand to stop her. “I have no doubt, but this isn’t the shanty town. I appreciate your willingness to help, but my wife will find a safer way for you to do so. Once your baby arrives, you can dig holes to your heart’s content, but not now. Agreed?” She smiled and nodded in response, and offered to mind Bethany while Jenny worked.
Ian and Sean also offered to help, as did their mother. Rollick tried to discourage her too, but she stubbornly shook her head. “I feel better than I done in years. I could use the exercise and fresh air.”
Rollick explained the plans that he and the warriors had made the night before, showing them where the ditches were to go, and telling them how to pile the dirt they removed to form ramparts. After making them swear repeatedly that if they were tired or hurt they would rest, and that they wouldn’t work themselves into exhaustion, he sent them off to begin their project. He was impressed with their cheerfulness and good spirits.
Dai approached Rollick as the diggers left. The old man eyed Zee rather apprehensively, his eyes lingering on her horns, but she smiled at him. After a moment he couldn’t help but relax and smile back, and then she was gone with the others.
“You said before that you and that blue woman wanted to dig a garden?” he reminded Rollick.
“Uluki. My wife. Yes.” Rollick was rather relieved that unlike the rest of his family, Dai had not required any persuasion to address Rollick with familiarity rather than deference.
“She got any tools? Hoe, trowels, anything like that?”
Rollick shook his head. He hadn’t seen any lying around, and it seemed unlikely any of the warriors would carry that sort of thing. “I suppose we’ll need to buy them,” he said, though he had no idea where they would get the money.
“Nah, don’t waste your coins. I can make them things easy enough. There’s plenty of wood now. I’ll carve some tools like I carved that turtle for your wee lad.”
“Thank you,” Rollick said, impressed that Dai could make such things.
“It won’t be no trouble. I may be too old to lift a shovel, but I can still carve. Ain’t no reason for me to sit idle while those others work.”
“I appreciate it. And thank you for the toy you made for our son. He’s enjoying it a great deal.”
“No trouble,” Dai repeated, though he seemed pleased. “It was a nice thing your wife done for Martha. That medicine she gave her.”
Rollick was relieved that the idea of medicine had caught on. It seemed the family didn’t suspect any magic. Good. “Uluki was happy to help.”
“Well, tell her she’ll have her tools for her garden.”
Rollick nodded his thanks once again, then moved to speak to the assembled warriors. He was rather surprised that Aorle hadn’t returned yet, but there was no reason to waste time till he arrived. “I would like to begin training this morning. You are all proficient in battle, or you would not be here. I know that a few of you have fought together in the past, but our priority now is for you to begin working as a group.”
Those who had worked together on fortifications had already begun the process, as had those who had gone to the shanty town, but they had not spent much time all together as of yet. Time to change that.
Rollick was interested that one of the warriors was a woman, but he didn’t attach any particular importance to that fact. A comrade was a comrade, and an enemy was an enemy, regardless of gender. The fact she was female wouldn’t make any difference.
“Working together will be the focus of our training today. We will begin drilling formations, and work on how you can support one another in battle, and pool your strengths. If you’ve all eaten, we can begin at once…”
After breakfast, Zee asked, “Is there going to be more digging today?” When Rollick confirmed this, Zee seemed excited about the prospect. “I like digging,” she said brightly.
Though Rollick didn’t mind digging, it didn’t seem to him the sort of thing one would particularly like. It was nice that Zee was enthusiastic. Dash did not volunteer to come along, of course. She was too frail to be of much use with a shovel, and would likely do herself an injury if she tried. Instead, she suggested she could help Kaydee learn to sew, like Uluki had offered the night before.
Rollick and Zee bid the two girls goodbye, and went downstairs. They began getting out food as warriors and civilians alike congregated for breakfast. Uluki wasn’t back yet, but that didn’t surprise Rollick. Most people thought a healer’s job was just to patch up injuries using magic, but Rollick knew better. A large part of Uluki’s healing came not from spells, but from the comfort and reassurance she could give. No doubt she and Julen were still talking. Julen had certainly suffered the night before; Rollick hoped speaking to Uluki would bring him some peace. While she was busy with that, Rollick should see to getting things started.
He spoke first to the civilians. “I know that you have all come from a difficult situation, and I have no wish to drive you into labours that will be too much for you, or to cause you harm. You came here expecting to help, but you need do no more than you are able. I would like to begin digging fortifications today, and those of you who are strong enough can assist with that. For those of you who cannot, we will find other tasks more suited…” He looked around doubtfully. None of them were warriors, and in fact none of them looked particularly strong or healthy.
Jenny laughed. Today her face was free of makeup, and she looked younger and prettier without it. “Sure, we’ll help you. I likely ain’t much good digging holes, but I’ll give it a try. Better than earning my day’s wage on my back.”
Rollick was suddenly a little uncomfortable, but the other women seemed amused. Two others, who he learned were named Masha and Louise, also offered to help, but when Becky also seemed inclined to pick up a shovel, he shook his head. “Not till after your baby is born. I won’t have you risk your child for this.”
“But I’ve been—”
He held up a hand to stop her. “I have no doubt, but this isn’t the shanty town. I appreciate your willingness to help, but my wife will find a safer way for you to do so. Once your baby arrives, you can dig holes to your heart’s content, but not now. Agreed?” She smiled and nodded in response, and offered to mind Bethany while Jenny worked.
Ian and Sean also offered to help, as did their mother. Rollick tried to discourage her too, but she stubbornly shook her head. “I feel better than I done in years. I could use the exercise and fresh air.”
Rollick explained the plans that he and the warriors had made the night before, showing them where the ditches were to go, and telling them how to pile the dirt they removed to form ramparts. After making them swear repeatedly that if they were tired or hurt they would rest, and that they wouldn’t work themselves into exhaustion, he sent them off to begin their project. He was impressed with their cheerfulness and good spirits.
Dai approached Rollick as the diggers left. The old man eyed Zee rather apprehensively, his eyes lingering on her horns, but she smiled at him. After a moment he couldn’t help but relax and smile back, and then she was gone with the others.
“You said before that you and that blue woman wanted to dig a garden?” he reminded Rollick.
“Uluki. My wife. Yes.” Rollick was rather relieved that unlike the rest of his family, Dai had not required any persuasion to address Rollick with familiarity rather than deference.
“She got any tools? Hoe, trowels, anything like that?”
Rollick shook his head. He hadn’t seen any lying around, and it seemed unlikely any of the warriors would carry that sort of thing. “I suppose we’ll need to buy them,” he said, though he had no idea where they would get the money.
“Nah, don’t waste your coins. I can make them things easy enough. There’s plenty of wood now. I’ll carve some tools like I carved that turtle for your wee lad.”
“Thank you,” Rollick said, impressed that Dai could make such things.
“It won’t be no trouble. I may be too old to lift a shovel, but I can still carve. Ain’t no reason for me to sit idle while those others work.”
“I appreciate it. And thank you for the toy you made for our son. He’s enjoying it a great deal.”
“No trouble,” Dai repeated, though he seemed pleased. “It was a nice thing your wife done for Martha. That medicine she gave her.”
Rollick was relieved that the idea of medicine had caught on. It seemed the family didn’t suspect any magic. Good. “Uluki was happy to help.”
“Well, tell her she’ll have her tools for her garden.”
Rollick nodded his thanks once again, then moved to speak to the assembled warriors. He was rather surprised that Aorle hadn’t returned yet, but there was no reason to waste time till he arrived. “I would like to begin training this morning. You are all proficient in battle, or you would not be here. I know that a few of you have fought together in the past, but our priority now is for you to begin working as a group.”
Those who had worked together on fortifications had already begun the process, as had those who had gone to the shanty town, but they had not spent much time all together as of yet. Time to change that.
Rollick was interested that one of the warriors was a woman, but he didn’t attach any particular importance to that fact. A comrade was a comrade, and an enemy was an enemy, regardless of gender. The fact she was female wouldn’t make any difference.
“Working together will be the focus of our training today. We will begin drilling formations, and work on how you can support one another in battle, and pool your strengths. If you’ve all eaten, we can begin at once…”
“I know what you mean,” Julen agreed, after Uluki spoke about not being alone and how it changed things. That was the reason he could never truly understand the depths of what she’d suffered when her friend attacked her. Because he wasn’t alone like she’d been, because he already had two people in his life who would never betray him. Of course, Uluki had probably thought that about Mara. But even when Julen tried to fill his heart with suspicion, the idea of Rosemary or Aorle committing some act of treachery against him seemed impossible, like an apple tree suddenly growing strawberries instead. There were people you trusted -- Julen already liked and trusted Uluki, although he’d only known her for a short time. And then, there were people who you just knew would never turn on you.
Even though he’d requested it, Uluki’s description of Aligosh’s fate left Julen wondering what to say. He wondered if she was right, if her friend would have recovered with time and care. Or if maybe being cut down by the evil god had actually been a comparatively merciful fate. Since coming to Marn, Julen had heard stories about its asylum for the mad. And he knew, with absolute certainty, that he would take his own life before ending up in a place like that.
Unfortunately, those dark thoughts cast their shadows across his expression at an inconvenient time. Too late, Julen realized that Uluki might interpret them as a reaction to her husband’s involuntary massacre -- a subject she was understandably sensitive about. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth. But after his recent loss of control, admitting to doubts regarding his sanity didn’t seem like a good idea. So instead, he turned his hand upward beneath hers, giving hers a gentle squeeze. “I know it wasn’t Rollick who did those things,” Julen assured her, his voice firm and full of honest conviction. “Even though I’ve barely spoken with him, I know he’s a good man. Because only a good man would have kept the love of a woman as strong and true as you are.”
Then, talk turned to suffering. Julen agreed with most of Uluki’s observations. But when she reacted to his statement about the world being a better place because she’d adopted Zee and Dash, he hastened to correct any misunderstandings. Uluki seemed disturbed by what he’d said, and Julen worried that his careless phrasing might have offended her. “I didn’t mean that you did it just because it was the right thing to do. You obviously care very deeply about them, and that’s why you made them a part of your family. That’s far better than doing it because you wanted to do a good deed.”
Furrowing his brow, Julen struggled for some way to explain what he meant. “I don’t want to condemn good deeds. The world could use a lot more of them. But performing one implies making a sacrifice, doing something just because it’s what you should do, and all those little sacrifices eventually take their toll on a person. As beneficial as good deeds are, it’s better to do the right thing because it’s what you want to do. No sacrifices involved.”
Not that he always managed to do the right thing, even when he wanted to. He hadn’t managed to do the right thing with Ramas. Julen was touched by Uluki’s offer to help. But unless she could somehow bring a blimp back to Marn, the situation was beyond her power to affect. Still, he told her about the strange airship and the badly injured human boy it had brought into his life. “Aorle did his best to heal him. He tried so hard that he collapsed afterwards. But his power is much weaker than yours. Even after he did all he could, the boy was still in pain. And I thought...I thought that maybe if I cast some small illusions, I could distract him from his pain. It seemed to work. Except that Finner, the gnome who owned the airship, saw me. At the time, he said it didn’t bother him. But the next day, when we returned to offer Ramas further healing, the blimp was gone. I think that maybe when Finner realized what a serious crime magic was in Marn, he got scared and left.”
Julen shook his head. He could only hope that Ramas had found help elsewhere. And try to live with the fact that he would probably never know.
Uluki’s question about his plans for the future caught Julen off guard. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Recently, it seems like I’ve just been struggling to handle each day as it comes, without the time or the energy to look beyond nightfall. I want to see my farm flourish again. I want to make a place in this world where my family can be happy. I want to help Aorle achieve his goals.”
“And I want to kick out Snyde’s teeth, so he can’t sneer at anyone ever again.” A soft chuckle escaped Julen. It felt good to be able to make even a small joke about that.
“What about you? Do you have any plans for the future? Or did you, back where you used to live?”
However, before Uluki had a chance to reply, Rosemary poked her head into the room. "Hello? Am I interrupting anything?"
Julen shook his head. "No. Uluki and I were just having a chat. She's lived an absolutely fascinating life." A different man might worry about his wife walking in and finding him so intimately seated with another woman. But Julen's mind didn't work that way. He felt no jealousy in regard to Rosemary, so he simply assumed that she, too, was free of the emotion. In this case, it seemed like a safe assumption. Rosemary showed no sign of annoyance as he stood and offered his hand to Uluki in order to help her rise.
"I brought your clothes," Rosemary explained, stepping into the room. "Krarug escorted me the bakery. We just got back."
Gratefully, Julen took the shirt and pants from his wife. He was looking forward to being decent again. Then, he turned toward Uluki. "Thank you," he said, with more sincerity than he could truly express. "For everything you said this morning. I learned a great deal and I hope we can talk again soon. But for now, I'm probably keeping you from things you need to do."
Even though he’d requested it, Uluki’s description of Aligosh’s fate left Julen wondering what to say. He wondered if she was right, if her friend would have recovered with time and care. Or if maybe being cut down by the evil god had actually been a comparatively merciful fate. Since coming to Marn, Julen had heard stories about its asylum for the mad. And he knew, with absolute certainty, that he would take his own life before ending up in a place like that.
Unfortunately, those dark thoughts cast their shadows across his expression at an inconvenient time. Too late, Julen realized that Uluki might interpret them as a reaction to her husband’s involuntary massacre -- a subject she was understandably sensitive about. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth. But after his recent loss of control, admitting to doubts regarding his sanity didn’t seem like a good idea. So instead, he turned his hand upward beneath hers, giving hers a gentle squeeze. “I know it wasn’t Rollick who did those things,” Julen assured her, his voice firm and full of honest conviction. “Even though I’ve barely spoken with him, I know he’s a good man. Because only a good man would have kept the love of a woman as strong and true as you are.”
Then, talk turned to suffering. Julen agreed with most of Uluki’s observations. But when she reacted to his statement about the world being a better place because she’d adopted Zee and Dash, he hastened to correct any misunderstandings. Uluki seemed disturbed by what he’d said, and Julen worried that his careless phrasing might have offended her. “I didn’t mean that you did it just because it was the right thing to do. You obviously care very deeply about them, and that’s why you made them a part of your family. That’s far better than doing it because you wanted to do a good deed.”
Furrowing his brow, Julen struggled for some way to explain what he meant. “I don’t want to condemn good deeds. The world could use a lot more of them. But performing one implies making a sacrifice, doing something just because it’s what you should do, and all those little sacrifices eventually take their toll on a person. As beneficial as good deeds are, it’s better to do the right thing because it’s what you want to do. No sacrifices involved.”
Not that he always managed to do the right thing, even when he wanted to. He hadn’t managed to do the right thing with Ramas. Julen was touched by Uluki’s offer to help. But unless she could somehow bring a blimp back to Marn, the situation was beyond her power to affect. Still, he told her about the strange airship and the badly injured human boy it had brought into his life. “Aorle did his best to heal him. He tried so hard that he collapsed afterwards. But his power is much weaker than yours. Even after he did all he could, the boy was still in pain. And I thought...I thought that maybe if I cast some small illusions, I could distract him from his pain. It seemed to work. Except that Finner, the gnome who owned the airship, saw me. At the time, he said it didn’t bother him. But the next day, when we returned to offer Ramas further healing, the blimp was gone. I think that maybe when Finner realized what a serious crime magic was in Marn, he got scared and left.”
Julen shook his head. He could only hope that Ramas had found help elsewhere. And try to live with the fact that he would probably never know.
Uluki’s question about his plans for the future caught Julen off guard. “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Recently, it seems like I’ve just been struggling to handle each day as it comes, without the time or the energy to look beyond nightfall. I want to see my farm flourish again. I want to make a place in this world where my family can be happy. I want to help Aorle achieve his goals.”
“And I want to kick out Snyde’s teeth, so he can’t sneer at anyone ever again.” A soft chuckle escaped Julen. It felt good to be able to make even a small joke about that.
“What about you? Do you have any plans for the future? Or did you, back where you used to live?”
However, before Uluki had a chance to reply, Rosemary poked her head into the room. "Hello? Am I interrupting anything?"
Julen shook his head. "No. Uluki and I were just having a chat. She's lived an absolutely fascinating life." A different man might worry about his wife walking in and finding him so intimately seated with another woman. But Julen's mind didn't work that way. He felt no jealousy in regard to Rosemary, so he simply assumed that she, too, was free of the emotion. In this case, it seemed like a safe assumption. Rosemary showed no sign of annoyance as he stood and offered his hand to Uluki in order to help her rise.
"I brought your clothes," Rosemary explained, stepping into the room. "Krarug escorted me the bakery. We just got back."
Gratefully, Julen took the shirt and pants from his wife. He was looking forward to being decent again. Then, he turned toward Uluki. "Thank you," he said, with more sincerity than he could truly express. "For everything you said this morning. I learned a great deal and I hope we can talk again soon. But for now, I'm probably keeping you from things you need to do."
Last edited by Julen on Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.
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Sir Karsimir
- Citizen
- Posts: 714
- Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:12 pm
- Name: Karsimir Von Greyssen
- Race: Reichvolk human
Travelling back was slower, between canter and trot on horseback, as having word of Julen's safety removed much of the urgency from the way out. Best to conserve energy until the demon returned. Very often, his hand strayed to the pommel of his sword-hilt, renewing him with fresh warmth that sustained him to the core. It appeared the angel had done even more to save his life.
It would do well to learn her name.
Few men saw him, as he entered by a deserted part of the city, a convenience which avoided unwelcome obstacles before he could arrange some way to keep the child safe. Who would know what the demon would do to her once the deception had been exposed? Time spent explaining himself to random civilians was not time spent arranging her protection.
Haunting him even now was the memory of bloody crows littering the ground. Never before had such a thing touched him so, then again, never before had he known birds to fight and die for him. It... created a feeling he did not understand. Images of dying avains twitching still stung the edges of his sight. Yes, he was able to heal them, and had done. Still, he could not shake the thought that they had been in agony. For him.
Wooden weapons clashing against each other took his mind away from these mournful thoughts, another reason to be thankful. Of course, he had been given far better reasons to be thankful within the past few hours, though the respite from the heartbreak was welcome.
Men were training together, as a group. Strangely, the two Northlanders who had approached him before were among his armsmen. Did this mean they were successful in their quest? Seeing how his men, and Rollick, accepted their presence he was inclined to be trusting.
Not the time to deal with it. Instead, he had a more important matter. One involving the towering champion clad in maille and purple, with glittering bands on his hands and arms.
"Varanghar." opened Aorle, still with the unconscious Asiona in his arms, "I need you to ensure this girl is safe."
First glance from the giant showed alarm rather than doubt. Even with the pain of his wounds to remind him, Aorle had forgotten how his bloody form could shock and worry observers.
"What happened?" wondered the Weapon Master, the Slayer of Kings.
Grim-faced, Aorle climbed down from the saddle. "A demon is stalking her. Lateus by name. Bring her safely to her parents and warn them of the danger. Tell them to set measures in place to shelter her from the demon. This is important."
"Am I needed for this?" inquired the giant, "Surely anyone could take a young girl back to her parents." It seemed a rather trivial errand for such a powerful warrior to be dilvering messages and escorting young girls.
"We need someone who can protect her from the demon." affirmed the horseman, "Someone I can trust with her safety." The word trust deliberately chosen, assuring Varanghar that this was indeed worthy of his time. "You will recognise it by ivory skin, wild amber hair, black markings. It can regrow severed limbs within a minute, cast spells of sickness and destruction, rays of dark power bore through my armour. What I ask you involves danger."
"Yes my lord!" boomed the giant, addressing nobility of purpose more than nobility of birthright. Then the giant took Asiona from the horse and carried her away, the halberd on his back.
Suddenly deprived of a training partner, Krarug caught hold of the warlord, supporting his heavily wounded form. Thick blood matted a whole side of his hair, daubed between left shoulder and elbow from a seeping puncture in the flesh, neck to right shoulder bloodstained, and broken scales marked with deep crimson over his belly. Added to the sleepless pallor on his face and the dark bags gathered on his eyes, one might be forgiven for thinking him a walking corpse.
Still, he unsaddled Arjen, letting Krarug deal with the carrying.
"Uru-mash, Krarug." he thanked, speaking in a tongue with no true word of thanks, instead showing gratitude and friendship through the compliment of Great Heart.
It was well received, the grin splitting Krarug's face, the supporting arm becoming something of a hug. Speaking in orcish, the reply "Joy you safe." proved the compliment well-chosen. "You no heal?" questioned Krarug, unknowing of Aorle's limits.
Returning the embrace gladly, Aorle shook his head. "Made-weak." he answered without shyness in the words, trusting Krarug enough to have no doubts of his respect and loyalty. "Bring me to Uluki and Julen. Food, water. Must speak with the woman I sent Sigvard and Thetta to find." Seeing that Krarug had no problem with those instructions, Aorle added one final task. "Do that, then gather the armory in place outside."
Krarug did.
It would do well to learn her name.
Few men saw him, as he entered by a deserted part of the city, a convenience which avoided unwelcome obstacles before he could arrange some way to keep the child safe. Who would know what the demon would do to her once the deception had been exposed? Time spent explaining himself to random civilians was not time spent arranging her protection.
Haunting him even now was the memory of bloody crows littering the ground. Never before had such a thing touched him so, then again, never before had he known birds to fight and die for him. It... created a feeling he did not understand. Images of dying avains twitching still stung the edges of his sight. Yes, he was able to heal them, and had done. Still, he could not shake the thought that they had been in agony. For him.
Wooden weapons clashing against each other took his mind away from these mournful thoughts, another reason to be thankful. Of course, he had been given far better reasons to be thankful within the past few hours, though the respite from the heartbreak was welcome.
Men were training together, as a group. Strangely, the two Northlanders who had approached him before were among his armsmen. Did this mean they were successful in their quest? Seeing how his men, and Rollick, accepted their presence he was inclined to be trusting.
Not the time to deal with it. Instead, he had a more important matter. One involving the towering champion clad in maille and purple, with glittering bands on his hands and arms.
"Varanghar." opened Aorle, still with the unconscious Asiona in his arms, "I need you to ensure this girl is safe."
First glance from the giant showed alarm rather than doubt. Even with the pain of his wounds to remind him, Aorle had forgotten how his bloody form could shock and worry observers.
"What happened?" wondered the Weapon Master, the Slayer of Kings.
Grim-faced, Aorle climbed down from the saddle. "A demon is stalking her. Lateus by name. Bring her safely to her parents and warn them of the danger. Tell them to set measures in place to shelter her from the demon. This is important."
"Am I needed for this?" inquired the giant, "Surely anyone could take a young girl back to her parents." It seemed a rather trivial errand for such a powerful warrior to be dilvering messages and escorting young girls.
"We need someone who can protect her from the demon." affirmed the horseman, "Someone I can trust with her safety." The word trust deliberately chosen, assuring Varanghar that this was indeed worthy of his time. "You will recognise it by ivory skin, wild amber hair, black markings. It can regrow severed limbs within a minute, cast spells of sickness and destruction, rays of dark power bore through my armour. What I ask you involves danger."
"Yes my lord!" boomed the giant, addressing nobility of purpose more than nobility of birthright. Then the giant took Asiona from the horse and carried her away, the halberd on his back.
Suddenly deprived of a training partner, Krarug caught hold of the warlord, supporting his heavily wounded form. Thick blood matted a whole side of his hair, daubed between left shoulder and elbow from a seeping puncture in the flesh, neck to right shoulder bloodstained, and broken scales marked with deep crimson over his belly. Added to the sleepless pallor on his face and the dark bags gathered on his eyes, one might be forgiven for thinking him a walking corpse.
Still, he unsaddled Arjen, letting Krarug deal with the carrying.
"Uru-mash, Krarug." he thanked, speaking in a tongue with no true word of thanks, instead showing gratitude and friendship through the compliment of Great Heart.
It was well received, the grin splitting Krarug's face, the supporting arm becoming something of a hug. Speaking in orcish, the reply "Joy you safe." proved the compliment well-chosen. "You no heal?" questioned Krarug, unknowing of Aorle's limits.
Returning the embrace gladly, Aorle shook his head. "Made-weak." he answered without shyness in the words, trusting Krarug enough to have no doubts of his respect and loyalty. "Bring me to Uluki and Julen. Food, water. Must speak with the woman I sent Sigvard and Thetta to find." Seeing that Krarug had no problem with those instructions, Aorle added one final task. "Do that, then gather the armory in place outside."
Krarug did.
My faith protects me, my kevlar helps.
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Lylessa Uluki
- Citizen
- Posts: 669
- Joined: Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:12 am
- Name: Uluki
- Race: Duskling - Fae
Uluki was actually rather relieved not to have to answer the question about her goals, because all her ideas seemed far too nebulous. She knew she wanted to keep her family alive and safe. She wanted to help people, and to do some good. Beyond that… what was there? It would sound so empty, like she wasn’t even a real person. Like a leaf blown on the wind, no control and no destination.
Truth be told, Uluki didn’t mind a little more time to think about the question before she answered it. Rosemary’s arrival came at just the right moment.
“I’m glad you got back safely,” Uluki said to Rosemary, accepting Julen’s hand to help her to her feet.
She was a little surprised to hear Julen describe her life as “fascinating,” but he sounded sincere. She wouldn’t have thought of it that way, not with all the disturbing things she’d told him about her past. When he put it that way it sounded like an interesting adventure, not a frantic struggle for survival. She decided to try to think of it as fascinating. That was nicer.
“I’m happy to talk any time, and I was pleased we had this opportunity. I think I’m keeping you from things you need to do, though,” she said with a laugh, gesturing at the clothes. “I’ll leave you to dress, and we can speak again later.” Bidding goodbye to Rosemary and Julen, she took Martin and began to attend to her other tasks of the morning.
Uluki found Becky playing with Bethany, and offered to check that the woman’s pregnancy was progressing well. Becky agreed eagerly— as Uluki had expected, Becky hadn’t seen a midwife or doctor, and was concerned about that fact— and they found a spare room in the building where they would have some privacy. Uluki was pleased that although Becky had not been able to eat as well as a woman should while expecting and so weighed less than would have been ideal, mother and child otherwise appeared healthy. Uluki offered to act as midwife when the time came, and that idea seemed to reassure Becky.
Anxious to begin the process of training the former prostitutes for other employment, Uluki got out her knitting needles and showed Becky the basic stitches, then left her to practice them while Bethany played nearby. Becky offered to watch Uluki’s baby as well as the little girl while Uluki went to check on the fortifications project. Uluki was glad; she didn’t want him falling into the hole or getting hit with a carelessly swung shovel.
The diggers seemed to have their job well in hand, however, so she merely spoke a few words of encouragement and thanks to each of them.
Thus occupied, she was unaware of Aorle’s arrival, though Rollick spotted him before long. “Continue, please,” he instructed the warriors, then he strode to meet the paladin and the Orc.
Krarug did not have to look for Uluki, because the moment Zee caught sight of the injured man, she dropped her shovel without a word and ran for her mother. Uluki appeared a moment later, stepping around the large pile of dirt; she hadn’t been far away. She didn’t give a thought to what a strange sight she was, barefoot and still wearing Rollick’s sweater over her dress, her small face clouded with worry. Aorle’s wounds were her only concern.
“What happened? Come inside and I’ll tend to your injuries.” No magic, much as she might want to. Aorle was in no apparent danger of death, in spite of his obvious pain. “I’ll need to clean and dress those wounds.”
Rollick had joined them by then, and his face betrayed concern when he saw the extent of the injuries. He met Uluki’s eyes, asking silently if she needed his help, and she nodded. She wouldn’t be able to support Aorle by herself, and she didn’t know how to take off his armour. Rollick would.
“Julen is upstairs,” she told Krarug, having caught most of Aorle’s instructions as she approached. “So is the other one, Kaydee.” She switched to Orcish for greater efficiency. “Wounded-Aorle should not climb. Can you bring them? We will help Aorle.” That seemed easier than trying to divide up Krarug’s instructions, and Uluki nodded her gratitude in advance.
As she spoke, Rollick offered his own arm and shoulder for the injured man to lean on so Krarug could carry on. “I’m glad you’re back in more or less one piece,” he told Aorle. “Uluki will have you feeling better soon.” Rollick had certainly had his share of injuries too, and he was quite sympathetic.
As they walked Uluki wrapped a gentle arm around Aorle, a sort of half hug, meant to be a gesture of friendship and solidarity even though she didn’t bear any of his weight. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For before. For understanding. About my family. They’re everything to me. I couldn’t live without… You won’t regret this decision. You’ll quickly see the good in them, in spite of everything. Just… thank you.”
Truth be told, Uluki didn’t mind a little more time to think about the question before she answered it. Rosemary’s arrival came at just the right moment.
“I’m glad you got back safely,” Uluki said to Rosemary, accepting Julen’s hand to help her to her feet.
She was a little surprised to hear Julen describe her life as “fascinating,” but he sounded sincere. She wouldn’t have thought of it that way, not with all the disturbing things she’d told him about her past. When he put it that way it sounded like an interesting adventure, not a frantic struggle for survival. She decided to try to think of it as fascinating. That was nicer.
“I’m happy to talk any time, and I was pleased we had this opportunity. I think I’m keeping you from things you need to do, though,” she said with a laugh, gesturing at the clothes. “I’ll leave you to dress, and we can speak again later.” Bidding goodbye to Rosemary and Julen, she took Martin and began to attend to her other tasks of the morning.
Uluki found Becky playing with Bethany, and offered to check that the woman’s pregnancy was progressing well. Becky agreed eagerly— as Uluki had expected, Becky hadn’t seen a midwife or doctor, and was concerned about that fact— and they found a spare room in the building where they would have some privacy. Uluki was pleased that although Becky had not been able to eat as well as a woman should while expecting and so weighed less than would have been ideal, mother and child otherwise appeared healthy. Uluki offered to act as midwife when the time came, and that idea seemed to reassure Becky.
Anxious to begin the process of training the former prostitutes for other employment, Uluki got out her knitting needles and showed Becky the basic stitches, then left her to practice them while Bethany played nearby. Becky offered to watch Uluki’s baby as well as the little girl while Uluki went to check on the fortifications project. Uluki was glad; she didn’t want him falling into the hole or getting hit with a carelessly swung shovel.
The diggers seemed to have their job well in hand, however, so she merely spoke a few words of encouragement and thanks to each of them.
Thus occupied, she was unaware of Aorle’s arrival, though Rollick spotted him before long. “Continue, please,” he instructed the warriors, then he strode to meet the paladin and the Orc.
Krarug did not have to look for Uluki, because the moment Zee caught sight of the injured man, she dropped her shovel without a word and ran for her mother. Uluki appeared a moment later, stepping around the large pile of dirt; she hadn’t been far away. She didn’t give a thought to what a strange sight she was, barefoot and still wearing Rollick’s sweater over her dress, her small face clouded with worry. Aorle’s wounds were her only concern.
“What happened? Come inside and I’ll tend to your injuries.” No magic, much as she might want to. Aorle was in no apparent danger of death, in spite of his obvious pain. “I’ll need to clean and dress those wounds.”
Rollick had joined them by then, and his face betrayed concern when he saw the extent of the injuries. He met Uluki’s eyes, asking silently if she needed his help, and she nodded. She wouldn’t be able to support Aorle by herself, and she didn’t know how to take off his armour. Rollick would.
“Julen is upstairs,” she told Krarug, having caught most of Aorle’s instructions as she approached. “So is the other one, Kaydee.” She switched to Orcish for greater efficiency. “Wounded-Aorle should not climb. Can you bring them? We will help Aorle.” That seemed easier than trying to divide up Krarug’s instructions, and Uluki nodded her gratitude in advance.
As she spoke, Rollick offered his own arm and shoulder for the injured man to lean on so Krarug could carry on. “I’m glad you’re back in more or less one piece,” he told Aorle. “Uluki will have you feeling better soon.” Rollick had certainly had his share of injuries too, and he was quite sympathetic.
As they walked Uluki wrapped a gentle arm around Aorle, a sort of half hug, meant to be a gesture of friendship and solidarity even though she didn’t bear any of his weight. “Thank you,” she said softly. “For before. For understanding. About my family. They’re everything to me. I couldn’t live without… You won’t regret this decision. You’ll quickly see the good in them, in spite of everything. Just… thank you.”
While Julen got dressed, he told Rosemary about the highlights of his conversation with Uluki -- in particular, his promise to look after the children if anything ever happened to Uluki and Rollick. Remembering the fuss she’d made over Martin, Julen had expected his wife to be pleased by the offer he’d made, and by Uluki’s grateful acceptance of it. But to Julen’s surprise, the news seemed to upset Rosemary. And he didn’t understand why. Was she distressed by the idea of her new friends possibly dying? “Of course, I hope such a thing never comes to pass. It probably never will. It’s just that Uluki was worried, as any parent would be, and she barely knows anyone here. I wanted to help put her mind at ease.”
“I know.” Rosemary nodded, although she refused to meet his eyes. Instead, she stared at the floor, while her hands tugged at the sides of her dress, scrunching the fabric into wrinkled bunches. “You did a good thing. Only...”
“Only?” Stepping closer, Julen touched his wife’s arm. But Rosemary pulled away from him and her withdrawal shocked Julen so deeply that it took him a moment to regain his voice. Usually, when Rosemary was upset, she just shouted at him. This silent pain scared him a little. “Rosemary? Are you angry because I volunteered to do this without asking you first? I’m sorry. It just popped out of my mouth. But if you have any doubts, I’ll tell Uluki that we can’t look after the children. I’m sure she’ll be able to find someone else--”
“Shut up, you foolish man! I won’t have you telling Uluki any such thing. If anything ever happens to her and Rollick, those children will be as our own children.” Rosemary turned to face him, and relief touched Julen’s heart. But that relief was short-lived when he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. “But I don’t want you to give up on me. I will bear you a child. I will. You don’t need to start trying to find alternative ways to gain a family.”
“Oh gods, Rosemary...” Again, Julen reached out to his wife, prepared to draw her into his arms, regardless of any resistance she might offer. But this time, she made no effort to get away from him. “Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary,” he repeated, pulling her close. Her name had always been his mantra, his prayer. “I swear, I didn’t mean it that way. I haven’t given up on you. If we end up adopting Uluki’s children, it will be in addition to our own family, not instead of them.”
Rosemary pressed her face against Julen’s neck, her words slightly muffled by her closeness to him. “I just want to be a good wife to you. Lately, it seems like every decision I make is the wrong one. I let you go alone to the shanty town. And when I wanted to help look for you, the others told me I’d just be in the way. Everything is so different now.”
At her words, a gurgling half-laugh escaped Julen. “And you think I know what I’m doing? Yesterday’s fiasco seems like a clear argument against that.” Gently, Julen stroked his wife’s hair, letting it fall through his fingers like dusk’s reddish light. “We’re both a little lost right now. But we’ll find our way together. We’ll look to each other for direction, we’ll forgive each other when we stumble, we’ll make a path where there’s never been one before. That’s what husbands and wives do.”
“As for having a child...well, at least it’s fun to keep trying, isn’t it?”
His teasing drew a soft giggle from Rosemary. Somehow, hearing her mirth reassured Julen that everything really would be alright.
After several more moments, Rosemary slipped from their embrace, and nodded at the door. “Everyone else is already busy with today’s jobs. I should go try to make some progress on the gambeson I’m fixing up for Rollick. As soon Aorle returns, I’ll ask him to come speak with you.”
Julen wished he could be working alongside his comrades. But any help he might offer them wouldn’t justify the risk of revealing Uluki’s secret. With luck, Aorle would arrive soon, freeing Julen from the need to feign injury. Until then, however, he’d just have to lay low. After kissing his wife goodbye, Julen sat back down on the floor and prepared to wait.
*****
Rosemary had been sewing for about an hour when Aorle returned. As she ran outside to greet him, needle and thread still clutched in her hands, the sight of his bloody armor nearly made her drop both objects. The weariness that dragged down Aorle’s formerly proud posture clearly showed that a considerable amount of the gore staining him had not come from fallen foes. A soft gasp of horror escaped Rosemary. She wanted to help, but she didn’t know how. So, at first, she hung back while Aorle handed the unfamiliar girl to Varanghar and spoke with Krarug.
However, when Uluki and Rollick joined Aorle, Rosemary plucked up her courage. After all, she might be able to help. Hadn’t she stitched up Aorle when he’d gotten hurt before? And if Uluki was better suited to do that, she could at least fetch the water and food Aorle had requested. But before Rosemary could volunteer her services, Uluki mentioned Julen’s location, and then gave an order in orcish -- Rosemary didn’t need to understand the words of the command in order to guess its nature.
“Krarug, wait!” Rosemary pleaded, before hurrying over to Aorle. She hated to bother him with this right now, when he was obviously tired and in pain. But she had a vision of Krarug going to fetch Julen, and Julen refusing to come, for reasons which would almost certainly be difficult to explain to the orc. Rosemary liked Krarug, thought of him as a friend. Still, she wasn’t sure what he might do to someone who disobeyed an order from Aorle, and she didn’t want to find out.
“Sir, I know you probably don’t feel like going to my husband right now.” Rosemary’s curtsey was performed hastily, more out of habit than a belief that Aorle would be in any condition to notice or care about such formalities. “But there’s a very good reason why he shouldn’t come to you.”
“I know.” Rosemary nodded, although she refused to meet his eyes. Instead, she stared at the floor, while her hands tugged at the sides of her dress, scrunching the fabric into wrinkled bunches. “You did a good thing. Only...”
“Only?” Stepping closer, Julen touched his wife’s arm. But Rosemary pulled away from him and her withdrawal shocked Julen so deeply that it took him a moment to regain his voice. Usually, when Rosemary was upset, she just shouted at him. This silent pain scared him a little. “Rosemary? Are you angry because I volunteered to do this without asking you first? I’m sorry. It just popped out of my mouth. But if you have any doubts, I’ll tell Uluki that we can’t look after the children. I’m sure she’ll be able to find someone else--”
“Shut up, you foolish man! I won’t have you telling Uluki any such thing. If anything ever happens to her and Rollick, those children will be as our own children.” Rosemary turned to face him, and relief touched Julen’s heart. But that relief was short-lived when he saw the tears glistening in her eyes. “But I don’t want you to give up on me. I will bear you a child. I will. You don’t need to start trying to find alternative ways to gain a family.”
“Oh gods, Rosemary...” Again, Julen reached out to his wife, prepared to draw her into his arms, regardless of any resistance she might offer. But this time, she made no effort to get away from him. “Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary,” he repeated, pulling her close. Her name had always been his mantra, his prayer. “I swear, I didn’t mean it that way. I haven’t given up on you. If we end up adopting Uluki’s children, it will be in addition to our own family, not instead of them.”
Rosemary pressed her face against Julen’s neck, her words slightly muffled by her closeness to him. “I just want to be a good wife to you. Lately, it seems like every decision I make is the wrong one. I let you go alone to the shanty town. And when I wanted to help look for you, the others told me I’d just be in the way. Everything is so different now.”
At her words, a gurgling half-laugh escaped Julen. “And you think I know what I’m doing? Yesterday’s fiasco seems like a clear argument against that.” Gently, Julen stroked his wife’s hair, letting it fall through his fingers like dusk’s reddish light. “We’re both a little lost right now. But we’ll find our way together. We’ll look to each other for direction, we’ll forgive each other when we stumble, we’ll make a path where there’s never been one before. That’s what husbands and wives do.”
“As for having a child...well, at least it’s fun to keep trying, isn’t it?”
His teasing drew a soft giggle from Rosemary. Somehow, hearing her mirth reassured Julen that everything really would be alright.
After several more moments, Rosemary slipped from their embrace, and nodded at the door. “Everyone else is already busy with today’s jobs. I should go try to make some progress on the gambeson I’m fixing up for Rollick. As soon Aorle returns, I’ll ask him to come speak with you.”
Julen wished he could be working alongside his comrades. But any help he might offer them wouldn’t justify the risk of revealing Uluki’s secret. With luck, Aorle would arrive soon, freeing Julen from the need to feign injury. Until then, however, he’d just have to lay low. After kissing his wife goodbye, Julen sat back down on the floor and prepared to wait.
*****
Rosemary had been sewing for about an hour when Aorle returned. As she ran outside to greet him, needle and thread still clutched in her hands, the sight of his bloody armor nearly made her drop both objects. The weariness that dragged down Aorle’s formerly proud posture clearly showed that a considerable amount of the gore staining him had not come from fallen foes. A soft gasp of horror escaped Rosemary. She wanted to help, but she didn’t know how. So, at first, she hung back while Aorle handed the unfamiliar girl to Varanghar and spoke with Krarug.
However, when Uluki and Rollick joined Aorle, Rosemary plucked up her courage. After all, she might be able to help. Hadn’t she stitched up Aorle when he’d gotten hurt before? And if Uluki was better suited to do that, she could at least fetch the water and food Aorle had requested. But before Rosemary could volunteer her services, Uluki mentioned Julen’s location, and then gave an order in orcish -- Rosemary didn’t need to understand the words of the command in order to guess its nature.
“Krarug, wait!” Rosemary pleaded, before hurrying over to Aorle. She hated to bother him with this right now, when he was obviously tired and in pain. But she had a vision of Krarug going to fetch Julen, and Julen refusing to come, for reasons which would almost certainly be difficult to explain to the orc. Rosemary liked Krarug, thought of him as a friend. Still, she wasn’t sure what he might do to someone who disobeyed an order from Aorle, and she didn’t want to find out.
“Sir, I know you probably don’t feel like going to my husband right now.” Rosemary’s curtsey was performed hastily, more out of habit than a belief that Aorle would be in any condition to notice or care about such formalities. “But there’s a very good reason why he shouldn’t come to you.”
Shim -- where the men are men, and the livestock are scared.