Adjustments

[Lylessa Uluki]

Vernon paused in his digging and leaned on his shovel, as he had done repeatedly throughout the day. He was strong and didn’t tire easily, but he was much given to conversation and didn’t like to talk while he worked. “That little blue fairy is some bitch, isn’t she?” he asked his wife conversationally.

Petra didn’t slow her digging at all, nor did she look up. “I like her fine.”

“She yelled at me. She had the gall to call me down to the dirt, like she was so high and mighty. Must be her time of the month or something.”

“She didn’t even raise her voice. And every time a woman gets mad, it’s got to be a female thing, don’t it?”

Missing both the sarcasm and the irritation in his wife’s voice, he blundered on. “That man of hers is even worse, though. What an arrogant prick. Acting all self-righteous, like he’s got the whole world down and he’s ready to tell everyone else how wrong they are about everything. Acting like he’s our boss. Telling us what to do. Treating us like gods-damned servants!”

“What’s so wrong with being a servant?” Petra asked, her gaze icy. She’d been about to say she liked Rollick too, but Vernon’s last words caused her fairly significant personal offence. “You didn’t think it was so awful when a servant’s wages was all we had to live on. You were pretty damn happy about it then.”

“But it was only temporary. You were only going to be a servant till we found better jobs.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, so you always said. Me, I liked the work fine.”

“And that’s your sole ambition? We weren’t born to be servants, Petra.”

“Everybody’s a servant to something. A person thinks they aren’t, it means they’re so deep in they don’t notice it anymore. I’m going to get some water.” She stalked away without another word, still seething a little inside— not at Vernon’s dislike of Uluki and Rollick, whom she’d only met that day and didn’t have any strong feelings about, but rather at the casual disregard Vernon was showing for how hard Petra had worked to provide for him as well as for herself.

Vernon remained propped on his shovel, contemplating life, when Rollick approached him. “Vernon, is everything alright? If you’re tired from shoveling…” Rollick didn’t see how a burly man like him could have tired so easily while taking so many breaks, but assuming it was better than assuming he was just being lazy. “…We can find you another job to do. As it is, you’re spending as much time standing as digging, and you’re rather in the way.” A pointed comment, but a true one— Zee was industriously digging around Vernon. “Would you like to ask Uluki for another task?”

Vernon glared at him. “No, I’m fine,” he muttered darkly, and started digging with melodramatic vigour. Rollick nodded to Vernon, and once he had turned away from the man, he allowed himself the luxury of a quick eye-roll. Vernon continued to shoot angry looks at Rollick as Rollick walked away to take up his own shovel again. “Bastard,” Vernon muttered under his breath.




Uluki had taken an interest in the warriors who had just arrived. She always liked meeting new people, and if these people were staying, they shouldn’t remain strangers. Sensing an opening in the conversation, she walked over to join them.

A moment later she realized she wasn’t in a fit state to greet anyone. After she’d finished her knitting lesson she had done some more cleaning, and given the condition of disuse the buildings had been in prior to the arrival of the current occupants, that meant she’d gotten pretty dusty and dirty, not to mention sweaty. She’d pinned her hair up, but it was falling down and escaping the scarf she’d tied over it. Not exactly a dazzling first impression, but she was almost to the group now, and unless they were completely off in their own little world— unlikely, especially for trained warriors in an unfamiliar place— they would have seen her approaching and think it odd… not to mention rude… if she suddenly changed course and avoided them.

Hoping that her disheveled appearance wouldn’t count too much against her in the estimation of the new warriors, she smiled warmly. “Hello, Aorle. Welcome back. How did things go?” Although the answer to that was obvious given the nature of their return. Clearly they had prevailed.

Then, to the others, “I’m Uluki. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” She was about extend her hands to shake theirs— a custom among some of the humans she knew; it had taken her years to pick up the gesture herself— but she realized her own hands were probably dirty, and she clasped them behind her back instead and simply nodded to the warriors.

[Sir Karsimir]

Judging by her appearance, Uluki had done much to prepare for the new refugees, ensuring that decent accomodations were ready. For that alone, Aorle was thankful. Uluki's efforts were a significant contribution which did not go overlooked. As much as the vocation of a knight was a military one, such issues as logistics and the care of an estate was cause for appreciation of the more domestic tasks. Less glorious deeds perhaps, but significant in their own right.

Each of the warriors nodded and stooped in a brief and shallow bow when Uluki approached, none having the slightest reluctance for greeting a work-stained civilian on equal terms.

"Light on your shoulders my friend." Aorle greeted Uluki, renewing disused though remembered phrases from his faith. This one referred to the comforting embrace of the Heavens. Warmly, he reached out and gripped her shoulder in a gesture akin to a hug while acknowledging the state in which both of them were in - she grime-smudged and him gore-spattered. "All went well." A smile, before gesturing for the others, bidding them to introduce themselves.

"Glad to meet you too Uluki. I am Thalnawr, I served as one of Aorle Kar's Wardens back in Kreylask. This is Hergot, a watchman. With all peaceful back home, we came looking to do some good now that we're trained fighters." Hergot gave another nod of greeting, apparently preferring to speak little.

"Celenon Dorcrindal, at your service, Uluki." The swarthy fellow gave a reserved nod, perhaps overly reserved. "Fine work done here. I understand this is to shelter a street gang's victims. How may I assist?"

Seeing doubtful looks cast his way, Aorle decided to make his support and esteem towards Uluki clear. "As Uluki sees fit. Thalnawr, Hergot, I will have a use for you both shortly."

There was more he could think of, in particular regarding the wagon, but that could wait for now.

[Lylessa Uluki]

“Congratulations on your victory. It was well-earned, I have no doubt. I’m very glad you’re all back safely.” Uluki always worried just a little when people she cared about were engaged in combat— not because she doubted their skills, but because she knew how the tide could turn in the blink of the eye due to factors beyond their control. She was glad to have them home. “The refugees who have joined us during the day have been settling in well, all things considered.” It hadn’t been without its rocky moments, but that was only to be expected.

Uluki beamed at the three new arrivals as introductions were made. “It’s good to have you with us; Thalnawr, Hergot, Celenon.”

“Celenon, I appreciate your offer of help. The refugees have been provided with clothing and food as they arrived. Those who are able have been given helpful tasks, and they should be well occupied until it's time to take a break for supper and some evening relaxation time.”

Uluki glanced over and saw Thetta and Jenny tending to the very newest arrivals, of whom there were just a handful. Uluki herself would go talk to them later and welcome them, maybe heal them if needed, but she didn’t want to overwhelm them by having everybody descend on them at once. Jenny had seen Uluki give out food and clothing many times that day, and knew where everything was. Things seemed under control.

“I think their physical needs are, for the moment, taken care of. There is something you can do, though. You can just… talk to them. Let them get to know you. It may seem an unimportant thing, but in fact it’s quite the opposite. Most of these people have been bullied and oppressed all their lives with no hope of solace. In the world they’ve been accustomed to, those with strength and weapons control those who do not, and those with power are the objects of great fear. They need to learn that isn’t the case. They need to learn that they will not be harmed by anyone here, and that the warriors will look to their protection, rather than being people they need to protect themselves from. It won’t be an easy thing. They won’t simply… accept you instantly. Their lives have been too difficult and dangerous for them to trust so readily. It will take time, and patience, and a great deal of understanding on your part. But I truly think it will help, if you’re willing to take the time to just… talk to them.”

Uluki remembered something she’d meant to tell Aorle earlier, but she simply hadn’t seen him in the meantime. “Aorle, I never got a chance to congratulate you on the honours bestowed on you by the angel. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be there, but I… well, a couple of refugees arrived, and we had to see to them. Rollick regretted that he wasn’t there either, but we were both very happy for you, and clearly the accolade was well deserved.”

Uluki’s eyes were deeply wistful when she mentioned the angel. The truth was, she could have gone. What she said about the timely arrival of refugees had been true, but she hadn’t really needed to deal with that situation herself. Rollick, understandably uncomfortable with the idea of a body being taken over by an outside force, had not wanted to watch the angel inhabit Dash; even though he knew the angel was a messenger of good and that Dash was not being harmed, seeing such a thing, especially involving one of his beloved daughters, would simply have been too painful. Rollick had offered to look after Kira and— well, the spy who had claimed to be Asra— so Uluki could see the angel… and she could have done so without feeling guilty that her husband had to miss it.

No, she hadn’t gone to see the angel because she’d known she didn’t deserve to see it, and therefore if she went, her presence would probably ruin things. She ruined things so often, even when that was completely the opposite of her intention. Maybe especially when she wanted things to go well. She would never have been able to forgive herself for messing up Aorle’s glorious moment, for destroying his happiness. Uluki knew she had done the right thing. An angel! A real angel! Such a being of pure good wouldn’t want someone so tainted as Uluki around, spoiling the moment. It was for the best that she had stayed away, as she had reminded herself many times. She just couldn’t help feeling a sad little ache about it nonetheless…

That brought something else up in her mind, though, something more relevant to her own life than angels were. “If you ever have a free moment, I had something I wanted to ask you. It’s about… well, religion, I suppose, and that seems like something you must know quite a bit about. You know, with the angel and all. It’s nothing pressing, though. Just when you get a spare moment.” Though Uluki knew Aorle had few moments to spare.

[Sir Karsimir]

Gradually, Celenon nodded his acceptance of the idea, appreciation growing on his face. The thought had not occured to him, although clearly made sound sense. As a veteran campaigner, he mentally labelled the concept 'civilian morale' and privately gave thought to the task. The crossbowman turned towards the paladin, strangely hopeful in his demeanor. "Sir? If I may?"

"You have my leave." answered the Shining One. "The other warriors will apprise you of events. Welcome Celenon."

Before leaving, the crossbowman turned towards Uluki and bowed from the waist, one leg trailing loose behind him as he did. Most warriors who bowed did so with one leg forward, an action more forgiving to the back than with both feet together.

"Thalnawr, Hergot. We have returned from battle against a robber gang which infests this city. Their leader survives, though their power is broken. Horse and wagon was captured in a skirmish." Here he spoke as a professional warrior giving a report. "I intend to recover several more wagonloads before this day. Both of you, Hatton, and Gaelm will join me for these. Those who fought beside me this day are weary. Inform Martha, our cook, that I am in need of a hot meal. That will be all, thank you."

"Yes sir." replied Hergot readily, marching off to begin his new duty.

Now the others were dismissed, Aorle could offer Uluki his undivided attention. "Very well, my friend. Ask what you will of me."

[Lylessa Uluki]

Uluki had not expected the opportunity to ask her question so quickly. She’d assumed Aorle was busy, and would get back to her later; she’d really just wanted to get a few minutes of time on the agenda. Since he was here, she would ask, but she hadn’t had the forethought to prepare her words, and she was a little nervous about what she was asking.

“It’s not something that’s for right away, really, and I guess it’s not that important.” Although, of course, the fact that she’d brought it up combined with her serious tone suggested it was at least important to her.

“You know about angels and things, and religion, and… well, I was wondering… when people die and go to the heavens, do they forget about the people who go to the bad place?” Her eyes were earnest as she asked the question.

The cold dark place that Uluki had seen whenever she was near the point of dying was the worst hell she could imagine. An eternity alone, without even death to save you from your misery. Surely any other fate was preferable to that. Surely any other torment would be more bearable, because at least you’d have other people with you.

Uluki didn’t entirely understand what she’d done to deserve the worst hell. She didn’t expect a heaven. She’d made too many mistakes, and ruined too many things. She didn’t blame… whoever was in charge of these things… for not wanting her in their paradise. No, what she didn’t understand was why she would end up in the worst one. Uluki knew she wasn’t an incredibly good person, not like other people were. Not like Rollick, Mercedes, Aorle, Julen, her daughters… all the many people who really shone. On the other hand, she was pretty sure she wasn’t evil. She was no Panterras, no Snyde. If asked to describe her own moral state, she would have said she was “alright” or “decent enough.” So why was she facing the worst hell? Just one of those things, she supposed.

“What if… what if someone who was very good fell in love with someone not so good, and they made vows to each other, and they had children who took after their parent who was good. What would happen when they all died, and all of them went to the heavens except that one person who hadn’t been so good? What if the husband and wife were really in love? What if they were… like soul mates, and being apart would cause them a lot of pain?”

“I was wondering if maybe they would forget about the person who wasn’t with them, because otherwise they would miss her. Their heaven wouldn’t really be heavenly, because they’d be thinking so much about the person who wasn’t there, wishing for her and feeling bad for her. And maybe… maybe they would try to go find her, only they’d probably get lost, and then they wouldn’t even have heaven at all anymore and it would be all her fault. So I thought you might know. If they stop loving the person.” The idea of Rollick and their children not loving her anymore was unbearable, but it was better than them being sad forever. “If they forget about the one they lost.”

Uluki very much hoped the people she loved would forget about her when they went to the heavens and she went to the cold, dark place. She hoped she would remember them, though, when memories of their happiness were all she had left.

[Sir Karsimir]

Such emotion.

Clearly her interest was more than theological, and the situation must not be hypothetical to be cause of such fear. All she spoke of, husband and wife, children, pain to be apart, all of these were signs. Fairly obvious signs. Yet his place was not to pry, she came to him asking his guidance on matters of faith, and to delve into her motives would be a breach of that trust. A deed he would not do. So he left the matter with raising an eyebrow and voicing aloud, "Her?"

So, where to begin?

One practice he had always strived for during lessons was to correct any misleading assumptions which may be in place. Here, some had been made in speculating that religion and angels automatically dealt with the afterlife.

"We are no death cult, Uluki. Most of my knowledge of the afterlife deals with sending people there in large numbers. Still, I will answer as best I can."

Another assumption to clarify. "Merely being good or bad does not grant an afterlife, let alone determine one. Many mortal spirits simply become a part of the world, seperating into the traits which make up their soul, which is why a martyr's death so often inspires others towards right." This was why perfection of spirit was pursued so vigorously, so that when his final breath had been and gone, he would still have something left to give.

None of this changed the fact that killing sixty brutish thugs this morning removed much evil in the world, for the Hells could not create, only corrupt, and those sixty spirits were already corrupted.

"An afterlife must be part of the spirit, such a part of one's being that it draws them. For men of faith, this is often by the sides of their gods. For a family such as you describe, the words 'soul mates' say it all. Any afterlife with such a family would have to be shared, because they would be more drawn to each other than to any realm of spirit."

Knowing little of the ways of shamen, Aorle wondered what Uluki would have been taught. Then he remembered, she had once told him of proof that spirits could remain with their family. "I suspect, such a family would live on as Ancestor Spirits."

[Lylessa Uluki]

A smile slowly spread across Uluki’s face as Aorle spoke of his beliefs. If being alone in the dark was the worst afterlife possible, then being an Ancestor Spirit was surely the best. You would never have to be away from the people you loved, and sometimes you could even still help the living. If she could pick any fate for herself, she would pick that one. That would make her so very, very happy.

One slight doubt remained, though. “The reason I asked is… well, several times I’ve been close to dying. Very close. Each time, I’ve seen the same thing. It’s cold and dark there, and I’m all by myself. I always thought when I died, I would have to stay there forever, because that’s what I see when I get close. I didn’t know what I did that would have made me have to go there, except… well, I ruin things without meaning to. I don’t know why, but bad things always seem to happen around me even though I try to make them right. So I thought maybe that was why. That I wasn’t good enough for the heavens because of that. But if that isn’t what’s really going to happen to me… why do I see it?”

“I haven’t told Rollick about this, because I didn’t want him to worry. He worries enough about other things, because he cares so much about us. He doesn’t say much about it when he gets worried, but I know that he’s scared about what will happen to me if he dies a long time before I do, which he might, because he’s human and I’m Fae. He knows how much I love him, and how much he loves me, and we both feel bonded together. He’s afraid of how much grief it’ll cause me when… when he’s… when he’s not alive anymore.” She couldn’t bring herself to say “when he’s dead,” not about her dear Rollick, not when her heart was already hurting over it. “And I don’t know what to tell him to make him feel better, because he’s right. I can’t even imagine what I’d do without him.”

This topic was too raw for her to deal with right now. Tears threatened when she talked about Rollick’s mortality, so she changed the subject. “Anyway, I don’t know what Rollick has seen when he’s been close to death. I only know about one time… but he wasn’t just close, he was in between death and life, and…” She tried to think of a way to say it that avoided a long, complicated explanation. “…Because of what was going on, he had a choice. He could choose whether he lived or died. He said he heard two voices, one calling him toward death, saying there was nothing left for him and that it was too late because of what the bad god had done to him, and… and me, telling him I missed him and I wanted him to come back. He followed my voice, and he didn’t die. But that’s the only time I know about. I don’t know what he saw the other times. I just know without a doubt that whatever afterlife is waiting for him, and for my children, it will be a good one, because they deserve to be happy forever.”

“And I… I’d be happy forever too if I got to be with them.”

[Sir Karsimir]

From the moment he saw her in genuine pain he stooped down to reach for her hand, while draping the other arm around her shoulders, in disregard for her current state. As for his own, the blood was long dry, and he was careful to hug her with the less blood-smeared side of his body.

The hug was of course, delicate, like embracing a china doll. Winged plates of armour would leave one who was embraced carelessly covered in bruises, so he had to take care. Tall and strong from an early age, he was well practiced on this subject.

Due to War of Souls, Aorle could not assure anyone of their rightful afterlife. Both angels and demons battled in astral conflicts over mortal souls. Each side had vastly differing plans for the fate of souls, plans incompatable with each other, and the final fate of mortal souls was well worth fighting over. Unless and until victory was claimed by the Heavens - impossible with the chaos and constant change of the astral plane - no promise of just rewards upon death could be offered, as infernal intervention still threatened.

To speak of such a thing now would be pedantic, unhelpful, and tactless. No good would come of such a thing, and therefore this truth could remain unspoken, and honesty would remain assured.

Gradually, he released the hug. "I have heard tell from many tales that refer to of which you speak. The cold and dark is the end of life, and no further." As far as he knew. Never yet had he endured such a thing, or came so close to death. Limited in knowledge, he had no cause to believe that dying was more than dying, and pious conviction standing against it.

With the aim of softening the upcoming chide, he smiled. "As for ruining things, what I find best is to remember a lesson in humility. To bear guilt for all that occurs is to presume we are what matters most in all things." Wisdom he found both soothing and guiding, for he knew to fittingly value the contributions of others in all things, be those contributions good or ill. "As for why bad things happen around you, you are a healer. You strive to correct the wrongs in the world, thus, you must seek them out, and come into contact with those very wrongs."

Sadly, there was nothing he could say to ease the fear of losing a loved one. Nothing he could think of yet. The possibility of her family lingering on for her as ancestor spirits would be ideal, but when seeing fewer than eighteen winters, Aorle's mind was not well suited to consider inevitable death in such detail.

[Lylessa Uluki]

Uluki nodded when Aorle described the cold, dark place as just death itself. That made sense. The fact she had seen it didn’t mean it was forever, and she felt somewhat reassured. As reassured as she could be, really, since as far as she knew no one alive could answer her question with any certainty. Even though, as Uluki well knew, death wasn’t always straightforward and there were grey areas between death and life, no one still living had ever experienced an eternal fate. Aorle’s words had been comforting, and they were probably the most certainty she was ever going to get.

When he spoke of guilt, though, shame flooded Uluki’s soul, and she looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the expression on her face. In spite of the gentleness of his words, he had unwittingly echoed things that had been said to her before, things said with the intention of causing pain. Things that would now always cause pain.

“You’re right. It’s selfish, I know. Mara always reminded me how selfish I was being when I blamed myself for things. So did Garz— that was the person I was engaged to briefly when I was young. And they were right. I do blame myself for things I shouldn’t, and it’s overly self-important. The problem is, I really am responsible for some bad things that happened, and it can be hard to know where to draw the line. Whether or not it was meant to be, whether or not it would have happened anyway, I can’t just pretend I don’t care that people were hurt because of my mistakes, my errors in judgment. And for some strange reason, it always seems to be Rollick who gets hurt the most when it happens. He lost everything because of me. Everything. Even his own body and mind. It’s amazing he even wants me near him, let alone him loving me. I did what I could to help him recover and rebuild, but it was through me that his pain came in the first place. I know that it worked out for the best. I know that. But I still hate that I caused him pain. When I see people hurting, it isn’t easy to accept it as just one of those things.”

“I think it would be easier not to feel guilty if I’d meant harm. If I’d been intentionally malicious, I could repent and never do it again. But when I’m trying to do something good and get completely blindsided by something bad coming from it, all I can do is feel bad, because I don’t know how to promise it won’t happen again.”

But all that was selfish, too. It made it seem like she mattered more than she did. It all made her head hurt.

Aorle’s next words barely registered, because she knew he was just trying to make her feel better. If the bad things she had done didn’t count for anything, neither did the good ones. If she wasn’t what mattered most when things went wrong, it defied logic to imagine she was when things went well. Nothing she did could really make any difference, no matter how hard she tried or what she strove for. So how could one claim any real good from the effort?

It must be nice to have someone like an angel to tell you what to do. Not like giving orders, but guiding in a loving way, like a parent. Then what you did would count for something, because it wouldn’t all end with you. Uluki had often wished for guidance from her own patron— or even for her patron to take an interest. But that was as unlikely as her own Duskling parents ever wanting her back. She had a talent for screwing things up with parental figures. Sometimes she felt like she was flailing in the dark, unsure what to do… but she was the mother, she reminded herself, not the one who needed to be mothered; she’d done alright without her parents. She’d do fine without some higher power guiding her steps, either.

She was suddenly desperate to be out of this conversation.

“Yes, you’re right, I’m a healer, and I have a lot of work to do today. Several of the new refugees have brought some very contagious diseases with them, which is something I’d like to nip in the bud. Plus I shouldn’t leave Jenny with all the work of the clothing and food.”

All the good things she was trying to do seemed even more tarnished than usual, petty and stupid compared to the great deeds and wisdom of others.

“By the way, something you should know. You remember the girl who used to be crippled? Kira? Her father was a good person once, but then he went crazy and he started hurting her. Now he wants to kill her, but Rollick is planning to kill him instead. The problem is that he teleports, so we’re going to need to ambush him, and that’ll take time to set up. But in the meantime, his assassin has switched sides, which he doesn’t know yet, and he doesn’t trust many people so he probably won’t send anyone else. He also isn’t likely to teleport into the middle of the compound, because… well, he’d end up in the middle of the compound. He doesn’t know specifically enough where we are to confront us directly. So everything should be alright till we get the ambush set up. And Kira is doing much better now. Just so you know what’s going on.”

She was speaking very fast and without pausing, already preparing to make her exit.

“Thanks for talking to me. I feel better now about the death thing. You’re very wise; I’m glad I asked you. I’ll see you later, alright?”

[Sir Karsimir]

Gothic knights were ill-suited to walking on eggshells. Direct and forthright was their way, speaking openly and fairly. At times this was difficult for other, gentler folk to deal with, as they did not shy from difficult subjects.

"Stop, Uluki." Aorle requested. A request, not a command, he would not evoke authority in a private matter or such a discussion. "My apologies for upsetting you. 'Twas not my intent. As for Garz or Mara, please do not replace my words with theirs." Direct he was, though he never used the words selfish or self-important. Words she clung to most eagerly. On some level, he would almost think she wanted to blame herself, preferred to believe she was inferior somehow.

And that was it. One so inclined to seek the best in others would be hard-pressed to reconcile the exploitations wrought against her. Finding fault in herself was easier than finding faults in those she cared for... in those she strived to help. Not something he could condemn, for angels had fallen for despising the common faults of mortal men. Though with her current distress, pushing the matter would do scant good.

So his comment was succinct. "You are mindful of your actions. Alone, a fine quality. Without sight of where our mistakes end, 'tis self-destructive." High personal standards alone were all well and good, though too much personal sacrifice would lead to a life wasted in vain.

Here, he stood back. There was more he would object to. Far more. From as little as he was told he knew the cause of Rollick's woes. With a few more steps between them, he changed his mind and saw fit to speak. "Rollick lost so much because the world he had built his life on abruptly ended, and because a creature of evil hijacked his mortal form. Such dire events come from more than mistakes from one good woman."

At this point, Aorle demonstrated the full extent of his ability to skirt over delicate subjects. "I see you wish away from this discussion. Make no excuses for that. I shall delay you no longer."

[Lylessa Uluki]

Uluki smiled in spite of herself. “I’m good at being self-destructive,” she said, but her tone was one of gentle irony, not self-loathing.

“It was partly my fault that the evil god got released in the first place. I didn’t mean to do it, but I am not without responsibility. Where I used to live, there was a weak place between the planes. People and things were coming through into this world when they weren’t supposed to, like it was leaking. That’s how I ended up here in the first place. It was a bad thing, though. People were getting hurt, because the planes aren’t supposed to do that. There was a group who said they could fix it. That they could close the weak place up so it wouldn’t happen anymore. But they needed something magical to close it up. They said they could use my blood. I wasn’t sure I should do it, but they convinced me, and I gave them some of my blood willingly. They weren’t doing that they said, though. They were trying to open the portal forever. Luckily that didn’t work, but a lot of people got hurt as things shifted between the planes from what they did, before it finally closed up again. The extra magic that got let in released the evil god from the place where it was being contained.”

“It might have gotten out at some point, anyway. If it did, it might have taken Rollick over if it could, because it thought he would be the best host. And… much as I hate how much pain he had to be in, I was grateful that it was someone who was able to withstand it, someone who would never give in. No one could have done better or had more courage than Rollick. But even knowing all that, I can’t reconcile myself to the thought of him suffering so much. And even though I know it wasn’t my sole fault, it couldn’t have happened the way it did without my poor judgment. The god might never have gotten out at all, and even if it did, it might not have happened in a way that was so damaging. My decision was a mistake. And for that, I do bear responsibility. If I deny that responsibility, I deny that anything I do could have any meaning, whether for good or ill. It’s not that I think anything I do is very important. Of course it’s not. It’s just… thinking it might matter a little to someone helps me go on.”

Once she saw he wasn’t disgusted with her after all, with her foolishness and her lack of proper humility, she felt less inclined to run away.

“Sometimes I haven’t been strong enough. Sometimes I’ve failed, even when things were really important to me. Sometimes I just haven’t known what to do. I’m not a great person. I’m a very small person. But the only things that make the bad times bearable are knowing there are people who will love me no matter what, and knowing that maybe something I do can still matter, and make things better for someone. Even in little and unimportant ways… a little bit of good is better than none at all. It’s not that I think I can help people better than anyone else. It’s just that sometimes my help is better than nothing. Or at least it helps me to think about it that way.”

[Sir Karsimir]

"Your only mistake was in being deceived." This seemed simple enough to the Sword of Heaven. In his mind, wrongfully taking by deception was much the same as wrongfully taking by force. "Being the victim of a lie is no sin. What they did with your blood was no different than murder with a stolen sword." There was more he could think of. The group had sought Duskling blood through lies or by force, and would pursue other means to gain it had Uluki not provided for them. Likely murder would be done to an unfortunate Duskling to acquire the needed component, and all else would happen as it had done.

"What you do matters greatly, there is no immodesty in that knowledge." Indeed, he was surprised she thought there would be. "Acting with humility in no way denies our own worth. Rather, 'taffirms the worth of all. Ask any refugee staying with us how important our deeds are." The very fact that many people had been rescued this day was important, as was the fact they would have new lives ahead of them. "Equally, when events turn wrong against your efforts, I know 'tis no ill-deed of yours because 'twas against your efforts."

Realising he may have confused her with his preachings, he sought to reveal the heart of the matter. "What I speak are the Teachings of Angels. Our core tenet is that Virtue brings strength. By exploring each Virtue in greater depth, we become stronger. What I have learned is humility lies not in finding weakness in the self, but in finding the strength in others." Now he would apply it's meaning to her. "You are a strong person, Uluki. And therefore the world must be strong to overcome your efforts."

Finally, he was done. "I will preach no more. These are matters you must decide for yourself." Further comment on his part would do no good. Further discussion would only complicate what favours simple. "Have does your family fare? I have hardly spoken with them." This, he regretted. He had no wish to detatch himself from the concerns of others, or from those he would call friend. In fact, he had not spoken with Dash since the visitation from Amaranda. He had not thanked her.

[Lylessa Uluki]

Uluki was afraid she had confused Aorle with her nebulous thoughts and words. “When I talk about wanting the things I do to help someone, that isn’t because I’m worried about humility, or that I’ll sound arrogant if I think I can help. I know humility is a virtue and I’d like to show it, but that isn’t what’s in my mind when I think about whether my actions make any difference. Rather, what I’m thinking about is responsibility. If I deny responsibility when things go badly, I can’t turn around and claim it when they go well. I can’t own my good decisions but claim to have been a pawn of fate when I made poor ones.”

“You’re right, of course, that there are things that mitigate responsibility. Things like being tricked. I think in situations like that, it’s easier to be understanding to other people than to be understanding to yourself. It’s so easy to look back and see things that should have been warning signs, things that should have been clues, but that you didn’t understand at the time. I wouldn’t blame someone else in the same situation for being deceived. But because it was me, it’s hard not to. I am trying to let go of the blame, though.”

Aorle’s unvoiced thoughts about someone else being murdered in her place were, in fact, things she’d thought of often. “The only thing is, if I hadn’t been deceived, they might have taken the blood by force from my brother or sister, who were staying with me then. They would have known they could do that, because someone else tried to do it to my brother, and he was staying with me after my friends and I helped him. So… I’m glad they didn’t hurt Barteo or Reyah. I’d rather deal with whether I should feel guilty than have one of my siblings die.”

Uluki realized she’d probably never spoken to Aorle of her sister and brother before, which he might find odd. “Barteo and Reyah don’t talk to me anymore. No one in my Duskling family does. As far as I know they’re still alive, as are my parents, but I haven’t heard from any of them in more than a year. They never liked Rollick, and they always… somehow they had this hope that one day I wouldn’t want him anymore, and I would go find a Duskling husband. When I told them I was pregnant, they finally realized that I wasn’t ever going to leave Rollick— plus they didn’t think a Duskling man would want me if I had a half-human child. They haven’t talked to me since I told them I was going to have Martin. I feel sad about it, but I don’t feel guilty. I chose Rollick and my children; Rollick didn’t want me to have to choose at all, but when I did have to, of course I wanted to stay with him.” That was probably much more than Aorle needed or wanted to know about her past. “So you’ll probably never meet Reyah, Barteo, or my parents. But I hope someday you’ll meet Mercedes. She’s human, but I consider her my sister, and she’s never abandoned me.”

“My family is doing well,” she said, meaning her husband and children, not her estranged Duskling family. It was the answer to Aorle’s question. “Rollick will probably be sore from digging most of the day, but he’s in good spirits. The girls seem happy too. Especially Dash. I think the things the angel said really helped her feel good about herself. She’s seemed stronger since then. It’s also been good for her to have Kaydee as a friend. I’m glad the two of them found each other. Oh, and Martin is getting very big! He’s been crawling all over the place. I think he’ll be walking before long. He’s going to be strong like his daddy.”

Uluki wasn’t quite sure how to broach the matter of Kira coming to live with them. On the one hand, Aorle was in charge of the compound, and it was ultimately his decision who was allowed to live there. On the other hand, it was clearly a family decision to have Kira as part of it, and it seemed bizarre and unnecessary to ask permission from someone else. Since Aorle had already accepted Kira as a refugee and was aware of her presence, it shouldn’t make any practical difference for him if she lived as part of a family or was simply on her own— in fact, since she was only thirteen, if anything there would be less work for the compound as a whole if she had someone to look out for her. Also, no matter what, the family couldn’t abandon Kira. Kira was clearly their responsibility; there was no real choice to make. Asking permission to have Kira with them would not alter what would need to be done. If she couldn’t stay, neither could they.

“Kira will be part of our family from now on. She’s Rollick’s goddaughter. For the past ten years he’s thought she was dead, so he’s very glad to have her back. I’m happy to have her with us too, and the girls seem to get along well with her. Kira really needs a place where she can be safe. She’s been horrifically mistreated by her father. I healed her body, but it will take some time for her mind and heart to heal too. So I think it’s good she’s with us.”

“You may have some concerns about having her here, since her father is such a dangerous man, but I can assure you Kira herself poses no threat. She’s terrified of her father and would not willingly have contact with him. If you want to see for yourself that she will be of no harm to anyone here, you’re welcome to talk to her… but what her father did to her left her unable to speak; it’s only since yesterday she’s had her voice back and she’s years out of practice, so you’d be the one doing most of the talking.”

[Sir Karsimir]

There was much he could say, though nought he needed to. Thus, the statements regarding humility and responsibility passed without comment. No point in siezing the last word. All in all, everything heard received only a nod, save for a smile when Uluki spoke of her true family - her husband and children. So good to see folk thrive.

When all was spoken, he replied succinctly. "Understood." He did not voice his plans to speak with Kira, as that would take place at a better time. Rather than being concerned for any danger she might pose - he trusted Rollick & Uluki's judgement - he simply wished to meet the refugees to be known and approachable to them. "I suggest you introduce Kira to the Lightswords as well, so she knows who she can trust to defend her."

By this point Hatton approached them, casting wary eyes towards Uluki. "Lord Knight. Will you join us please?" However wary, he was still courteous in his manner towards Uluki, and bowed his head gracefully.

"Aye." replied Aorle, then bowed his own farewell to Uluki. "Bright path to you."

Joining the group, he took his meal with them and recounted events of the morning. He spoke of the ambushes prepared and countered, spoke of the woman being held hostage by the thug, and then spoke of the storehouse filled with goods stolen by the brigands. Although conscious that those items were stolen, finding the rightful owners seemed unfeasible to Aorle, and there were others in clear and present need of them right now.

The word used to describe the previous condition of the women before their rescue was 'prisoners'. Referring to a profession would imply a choice, and these women did not choose this life. Had that been their wish, they would not need to be rescued.

Over the afternoon, several trips were made back and forth with the wagon, loading and unloading the contents of the storehouse. This included some furniture, basic wooden chairs, tables, long benches, and more. On wheels, the horse could bring a huge amount without strain, since the warriors walked with the wagon rather than rested upon it. Each trip took slightly less than an hour. After six trips, darkness was falling, and Aorle was reluctant to expose his men to such an area at night.

Where Rollick was not giving instructions, Numidar took charge of assigning the new supplies and features. Furniture was carried to living areas, common or private. Supply pantries were chosen near the largest kitchens. Anything without an obvious purpose was assigned to the warehouse enclosed within the earthwork borders.

By now, ramparts enclosed nearly three sides of the compounds, with berms on the other. Trenches reinforced the height of the barriers. Progress had been made. Significant contribution were made from the tireless efforts of both Krarug and Darir in addition to the refugees.

Celenon approached, touching the brim of his steel war-hat. "Sir. Some of the sheltered left homes behind. Will you be able to recover their belongings?"

Aorle looked thoughtful. "Good suggestion. We can do so come morning. Find me the refugees in question, I will speak with them."

"Yes sir." Celenon said, immediately doing so.

[Lylessa Uluki]

The refugees put in a few more hours of work, and then Uluki and Rollick called a halt to their projects. They had done a good day’s work, and would have time left for the other things they needed or wanted to do. This was the time for personal laundry or mending, tidying and arranging their rooms, bathing, or simply spending time with family and friends. Uluki and Rollick both felt that encouraging the refugees to lead balanced, healthy lives was more important than squeezing every possible moment of work out of them to the exclusion of everything else; they were always to be treated like people— and for many of them, it was the first time they had experienced such treatment— not generic worker bodies. Their need… and their ability… to lead their own lives must be respected.

A few of the refugees digging with Rollick seemed reluctant to stop when he signaled the end of work for the day, but he gently insisted. “I’d rather have you rest and be prepared to work hard again tomorrow than see you exhaust yourselves now and be unable to be productive in the morning. Besides, you are here to build new lives, not to be slaves, or even to be servants. Work isn’t the only important thing, and you’ve more than earned your keep today.”

During the afternoon Rollick had periodically left the diggers to deal with the arrival of a wagonload of supplies, but since these loads arrived only at intervals rather than as a constant stream, he had plenty of time to dig in between. Once the digging had finished for the day, he could focus exclusively on moving the supplies.

Uluki, meanwhile, had spent most of the afternoon healing the arriving refugees. It wasn’t that the actual physical act of magical healing took so very long. Rather, it was that their bodies were generally not the only part of them that needed to be healed. A significant portion of Uluki’s time was spent listening to their stories, comforting them, reassuring them, holding their hands, and welcoming them into their new home. And that, really, was as much the job of a healer as magic was.

Uluki continued to offer people water as medicine since she didn’t know any of the new arrivals and couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t report her for magic use. It was a precaution she was less and less certain was necessary. There was one group of of refugees who seemed thoroughly unimpressed with the healing— Uluki assumed they had experienced it before, or had at least seen someone healed by magic, and no longer considered it any great thing when a person made a dramatic and apparently miraculous recovery. The others seemed less blasé about the whole thing and were glad to be healed of their afflictions… but they also seemed utterly indifferent to whether the healing had been done by magic. Uluki began to suspect that most of the refugees cared more about the easing of pain than they did about the laws of Marn. The laws had never helped them, and Uluki did— so they had no incentive to jeopardize future help by turning against her. In general, her healing was accepted without question.

That did not mean, of course, that things went entirely smoothly for Uluki. Over the course of the last few days she’d done large amounts of healing magic without much downtime in between, so she was not operating at her full level of energy. That meant she had to work harder than usual each time she healed someone. Additionally, ever since the night before her body had been working continuously to heal itself from the taint she had removed from Kira. With Uluki’s magic now focused outward, toward healing large numbers of refugees, she no longer had the energy needed to heal the taint constantly and suppress the pain. Though she’d been sore all day, the affliction grew more and more painful. Her skin started to look greyer again, her hands were clumsier, and it was getting harder and harder to walk. Her whole body hurt. It hurt a lot. But it was worth it. It was worth it to heal the refugees. It was worth Uluki feeling the pain so Kira didn’t. In spite of how bad she felt physically, Uluki’s smile was genuine.

Dash, Kira, and Kaydee had gotten muddy working in the garden, as one would expect, and Zee was downright filthy after working on both the rock-picking and the fortifications. Uluki offered to wash their clothes for them, but seeing what bad shape she was in, they declined her offer. Motherly concern could wait till she was feeling better, and they could wash their own clothes.

While the girls went upstairs to change, Uluki decided to nurse the baby. He was by now eating solid foods of the rather mushy variety too, but Uluki was in no great hurry to wean him completely. She enjoyed the bonding time. Uluki realized, though, that she couldn’t nurse him after all; she wasn’t sure if the taint she had taken from Kira would be passed on to Martin if she did. She simply couldn’t take that risk. Luckily the nomads had brought some fresh goat’s milk with them, so Uluki gave some of that to Martin instead. She held him and cuddled him and told him what a good baby he was, and he responded with smiles and baby talk and grabbing stray wisps of her hair in a loving but not very gentle way. Uluki marveled at him— how much he looked like Rollick, and like her, but how much of an individual he already was.

The four girls joined Uluki while they washed their dirty clothes. Her help wasn’t needed, but it gave the five of them a chance to talk. They didn’t speak of anything terribly important, no deep philosophical questions, but Uluki enjoyed the time spent with them.

During a lull between wagonloads Rollick briefly joined them. He said hello to the girls and asked how their days had been, and after listening to their answers and responding, he drew Uluki aside to speak to her alone.

“You look sick again, dear one. Is it getting worse?”

“No. It’s actually better. I just don’t have enough of me left right now to heal it very well.”

“Anything I can do?” It was asked more on principle; Rollick knew it was highly unlikely there was any way he could help.

“Just this.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled herself close to him. She felt his arms encircle her, and he kissed her face several times.

“I was worried about you earlier, Uluki. When Rosemary gave me the gambeson. You looked like you were going to cry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by saying anything at the time, but I did want to make sure everything was alright.”

Gratitude flooded Uluki. Rollick understood her very, very well. Because of the traumas she’d been through in her life, Uluki sometimes cried without warning and for no readily apparent reason, and Rollick knew it made her feel embarrassed, strange, and broken when attention was called to it in front of others. Uluki had no idea how to answer his question, though. “I don’t know. It’s alright for now, but it won’t always be alright.”

Rollick had no idea what she was talking about, but he was willing to listen. “Why won’t it be?”

“Because I’m Fae, and you’re human, and I… I don’t want to lose you.”

He kissed her again, and gently rubbed her back. “You don’t need to worry about that any time soon, love. I’m not planning to die just yet.” That was the best comfort he could really offer her. “I’m still in good shape. I feel fine.”

Rollick did, in fact, feel fine. Better than fine. Though he wasn’t as young as he used to be— he knew his reflexes had slowed, and he did have some problems with arthritis— he didn’t really feel much different than he had at forty. Actually, if he was being really honest with himself, he didn’t feel any different. And though that was a blessing, it also made him slightly uncomfortable. You weren’t supposed to just… stop… like that, were you? Did that mean there was something wrong with him? Something really wrong?

No, that was silly. Maybe it ran in his family. His mother had died prematurely when he was just a small boy, and his father was so reserved and distant that until receiving news of his death, Rollick hadn’t really had any clear idea of the state of his health. Maybe one of them would have plateaued at the same age. Or maybe it was the magical healing Uluki offered him so freely. Surely that had helped delay the onset of aging. Plus he got a lot of exercise and ate well. He worked hard to stay in good physical shape. Why was he so surprised that it was paying off?

Dismissing his worries as foolishness, he directed all his energy into cuddling Uluki. “We don’t need to worry about that for a long time, dear one,” he reassured her again.