Thaddeus Brooker

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Thaddeus
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Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Sat May 18, 2013 4:17 pm

Player Name: Thaddeus
Name: Thaddeus Brooker
Age: 39
Race: Human
Height:6'2''
Weight: 98 KG
Physical Description: As far as blacksmiths go, Thaddeus really is a stereotype. He is rather tall and thick, with black hair and a beard. Despite His age, he looks quite youthful, although he far from feels it. He is tanned, and his skin is leathery and covered in scars and burns that he had gained over the years from working the forge. To go along with the job of swinging a hammer all day, he has muscular arms and legs. His eyes are a deep dark brown, something that makes him seem very friendly even when he isn't trying to be. As far as clothes go, Thaddeus likes to keep it simple. Usually he will wear a white shirt under a pair of brown overalls.


Personality: Thaddeus is a simple man with simple tastes and a simple personality. He is gruff,and rather confident, both of which often lead him into trouble. As someone who never attended school, Thaddeus did not learn what most people learnt in school, and often asks someone else to read or write for him to avoid seeming like a nuisance. Thaddeus takes a lot of pride in his work and so is offended whenever someone complains about the quality of something that he made. He also gets bored rather easily, and so will often go down to the inn for a drink. Thaddeus has a fear of spiders, although he tries his best to hide it. Things such as deaths rarely worry Thaddeus, as he simply sees it as something that was going to happen anyway, although he would probably be distraught if Trevor died. Thaddeus is always straight-forward with his answers, and dislikes riddles because they confuse him. In Thaddeus's mind, a mug of ale will never go amiss, and he almost always keeps some kind of alcohol with him. As far as obeying laws go, Thaddeus is happy to obey almost any laws, although he will not go out of his way to do so. If he sees someone breaking the law, he will often try to stop them himself, instead of calling a guard.

As a child, Thaddeus could've easily been taken as stupid or mute. He rarely spoke, simply going about his jobs on the small farm that his parents owned. When they got sick and died, he was barely effected, as he felt that he didn't get much of a chance to get to know them. To him, they were two strangers that looked after him. He spent most of his time with Verde after the death of his parents, only leaving their house to do shopping. He was on a greet and keep walking basis with most of the villagers- meaning that he would greet them as they passed, but not stopping for any kind of real conversation. Thaddeus was driven, and wished only to get the supplies and get back home as fast as possible. When Verde took the blame for making copiax containers, Thaddeus felt guilty at first. Over time he started to feel better, and used it as a reason to work even harder- not only to clear his own name but to free himself of the debt that he owed Verde. Debts mean a lot to Thaddeus, and he always pays them when he has them, and expects others to do the same. For the same reason, he tries to avoid debt as best as he can. He feels that Vilaria owes Verde and Thaddeus such a debt that it can never be forgiven, and seldom thinks about him. When Thaddeus first met Vilaria, he considered him the epitome of life- a mercenary who keeps moving, never looking back and always having something to look forward to. This is in stark contrast to Thaddeus' current opinion of him- a liar and a cheat who owes Verde his youth, and Thaddeus his master.


Possessions:
Trevor the Donkey: Thaddeus lifelong companion, a donkey named trevor. He carries Thaddeus's things and sometimes Thaddeus himself. There really isn't much else to say except that he is a tough old donkey.
Hammer: Thaddeus's main form of self defense, this hammer is really just a smithing hammer with a longer handle fixed onto it. It is generally used with two hands.
Axe: An axe for chopping wood. It really would be a better weapon than the hammer, but Thaddeus just likes hitting things with blunt objects.
A house: Thaddeus owns a house in shim. Its a small, modest house but it is nice enough. It has a forge out the back where Thaddeus worked, and a small amount of farmland where Thaddeus grew corn and potatoes. It has a small stable that can only fit one horse. This is where Trevor usually lives.
Powers or Strengths: Probably Thaddeus's biggest strength is the fact that he looks incredibly formidable. This of course is completely untrue, but to an opponent he simply looks like a giant of a man holding a massive hammer, something that can scare most things. He himself is completely aware of this and plays it out as much as he can, often standing over opponents and holding his hammer in a menacing way.


Another strength of Thaddeus's is, well, his strength. When you spend all day hitting heavy pieces of metal with slightly heavier pieces of metal, you tend to gain muscle quickly. Another strength of Thaddeus's is that he is a rather good blacksmith. His work does not always look pretty, but it will last and work, and thats what matters. His final strength is that, for some reason, death doesn't affect him as much as other people. He mostly sees it as something that would happen anyway, and he believes that there is no reason to be so worked up about. He mostly makes weapons and farming tools, so that is what he makes best.


Weaknesses: While a life lived doing physical labour does make one rather tough, it also comes with its own set of disadvantages. For one, he has suffered from back problems and in general sore bones since he was about 30. While his pain is not incredibly debilitating, he will sometimes just have to lay down and rest. Most movements cause some kind of pain, although it is usually just a small ache.


As a child, Thaddeus was never sent to school, and so suffers from a mild case of being uneducated. He can write and even read a little, but his writing is just a messy scrawl, and he can barely read. If he needs to read something, most of the time he will hand it to someone else so that they can read it to him. Despite his size, Thaddeus has a fear of spiders, specifically large spiders. In his opinion, anything with that amount of legs couldn't possibly be good. He also suffers from being slightly socially awkward, due to his only human friend being dead. He also gets bored somewhat easily, although if he is working he is usually able to stave it off.


History: Thaddeus was born to a pair of farmers, who were fairly average- Not poor, not incredibly wealthy. His parents didn't see the point of to sending Thaddeus to school, so he simply never went. Instead he was apprenticed to a blacksmith named Verde. At the age of nine, both of Thaddeus's parents died of some unknown sickness, but it never really weighed much on him. Instead he moved in with Verde, who taught him how to be a good blacksmith.While Thaddeus never lived up to the decorational standards set by Verde, his tools were always tough and effective, and that is what the townspeople wanted.


At the age of 20, Thaddeus started to make friends with someone that he had met at the local pub, an elf by the name of Vilaria. Vilaria said that he was a mercenary, working for a company called the red fist. He was staying at the pub, and said that he was in town on business, the likes of which he would not talk about. Thaddeus and Vilaria became good friends rather quickly, and this point was probably the happiest in Thaddeus's life. He now had two friends, Verde and Vilaria. After a few weeks, Vilaria asked Thaddeus to make something for him. A hollow metal casing was what Vilaria needed, a strange request, but easy nonetheless. And so, Thaddeus set to work, making a few bags of these hollow metal casings for Vilaria, asking for nothing in return. Just a few days after these casings were finished, a group of armed guards came by town. At the time, Thaddeus was sitting at the bar, with Verde. They were both on a break from their work, and were enjoying a mug of ale. With a huge bang, the door of the pub was burst open and a group of guards stormed in, going straight upstairs to where Vilaria was. After a great deal of shouting and large bangs, Vilaria was dragged downstairs unconscious. One of the guards, a thin sort of man with a moustache held up the metal casing that had been made for Vilaria, revealing that these were used to smuggle copiax, and asking who made them. Thaddeus almost put his hand up, but felt a friendly hand on his shoulder and looked around to see Verde smiling at him. "Make me proud Thaddeus. And promise that you will come find me before I die." With that, Verde got up, stated that it was him who made the copiax containers and got dragged away. This entire experience made Thaddeus only think one thing- don't make friends.



Around the age of 39, Thaddeus was asked to make some farming tools for a nearby farmer, however when the tools were made and presented to the farmer, it was revealed that he was lacking money. Determined to get something for his work, Thaddeus wandered around the mans house for a while before spotting a donkey to the side of the house. He untied it, and lead it away, leaving a note that said "I liked your donkey, so I took him as payment. I named him Trevor, feel free to visit him at any time." Rather obviously, the farmer never did visit. Soon after, Thaddeus realized that it had already been 19 years since Verde's imprisonment, and decided that he should make good on the promise that he had made to his friend, and teacher all those years ago.
Last edited by Thaddeus on Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:52 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Saruna
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Saruna » Tue May 21, 2013 1:29 am

Dust gathered around the feet of the horses, and they shifted in place as if restless.

Hello again, and a double welcome to Thar!

Under personality you sort of imply that since he hasn't gone to school he makes dumb choices. Would you say those dumb choices are directly related to a lack of schooling (like say not being able to add and not getting enough of something once numbers get too high, as a very simplified example) or in general? If in general I don't think it would necessarily relate to school; lack of formal education does not automatically a stupid man make.

Some of these things in personality you can likely add in to strengths and weaknesses (not being bothered by death is definitely a strength, while being easily bored or distracted could be a big weakness -- to be a blacksmith you need to be able to focus on your work for long periods of time, and work will be dawn to dusk some days).

Strengths -

I'd say the heat resistance is a bit over the top. For example, my fiance as a mechanic gets burned pretty regularly, so he's pretty heat tolerant of, say, pulling a pan off the stove. However, I think it's more due to a deadening of his nerves; he still gets burned just like anyone else. Now if this is more of a latent magical resistance he's not aware of, that could be neat.

Is he specialized in anything particular as a blacksmith (making blades is vastly different from shoeing horses from making armor)?


Weaknesses -

There's a lot to remember and know as a blacksmith. You have to get proportions just right, timings down, and need to be perceptive with the metal. It is a job that takes skill if you want to be any good at it (which, from your description, sounds like he is). If he's quite stupid, how did he manage to become a blacksmith capable of creating good tools? Is his stupidity related to something in particular? For example, this
He himself is completely aware of this and plays it out as much as he can, often standing over opponents and holding his hammer in a menacing way.
is a sign of a clever man.


I'm feeling like we're not getting the whole picture here. Does death not affect him because he has trouble emotionally connecting to people? Is he just very


History -

School in Marn is free. However, parents might not send children to school if they need them to be working at home. And indeed, as practical down to earth people they might consider a blacksmith apprenticeship to be worth more than schooling .

Training to be a good blacksmith takes years. Completing apprenticeship alone can take ten years, and journeyman can take several years on its own. Sixteen seems a bit young (from nine) to become a master (unless I'm drastically off and that was the norm -- feel free to correct me here if you know something I don't :P ).

I'd like a bit more meat to your history. Things that shaped him as a person, things that might explain why he has no friends. Right now I don't have much of a feel for who he is and why he is the way he is.


Please leave a reply here or send me a pm if you have any questions. If you make any changes to your app you'd like looked at, please leave a reply to this thread.
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Thaddeus
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Tue May 21, 2013 6:19 am

Thanks for taking a look at my app ^.^
I fixed all of the things that you mentioned, unless I missed something. I also added a bit more depth to his history, regarding the reason that he worked for so long and so diligently.

Thaddeus
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Fri May 24, 2013 5:12 am

Bump (Its been three days, I believe that I am allowed to bump my thread once every three days. If i am wrong, correct me.)

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Frug
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Frug » Fri May 24, 2013 5:11 pm

Nothing wrong with bumping. Saruna will get to this tonight I think.
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Saruna
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Saruna » Fri May 24, 2013 5:24 pm

Yar! I will after work. Been a bit of a tiring week, but it's Friday! I apologize for the wait.
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Saruna
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Saruna » Fri May 24, 2013 9:05 pm

Ahh something I forgot in the first one -- please double space between sections and paragraphs. It makes reading a lot easier. :)

A quick thing about personality -- he is embarrassed that he doesn't know reading/writing but it wouldn't be too unusual that villagers in Shim don't know how to read/write, as they'd be needed for doing work rather than schooling and might not necessarily consider those things a priority. Though, still, if that's just his thing (he always wanted to learn, for example), it's still perfectly reasonable for him to feel embarrassed about.


I still feel a bit of a disconnect from his personality. How does he relate to people, if at all? Does he just not care? Does he lack empathy/sympathy? Is he particularly serene? Did something happen in his early life to render him numb to interpersonal relationships? Has he always been a rather quiet child who didn't really feel connections towards people? Does he form connections to animals more than people? Is he particularly shy? Why did he bond with Verde so strongly, while he has such a hard time bonding with people he must interact with on a daily basis (living in a village and all)? Does he feel lonely the majority of the time, or only a little bit? Did he never have any other opportunities to make friends? How does he act towards other people?

These are questions that could be answered to help make your character feel well rounded. While you have a nice skeleton, I feel like there is still more that could be added to your character to give the reader a better feel for who he is and what he wants out of life. The history in particular feels a bit vague and empty, especially because he seems to have trouble forming normal relationships with others. I want to get a grasp on the why of that.

Also, has he always had a wanderlust? Why leave Shim? I don't really have a good grasp of what drives him and what he wants out of life. Does he want a family? Does he even want friends?

A lot can happen in 39 years, and I still feel like we don't have the whole story of how/why he is the way he is in the present.

If you have any questions or need clarifications please do pm me (after this weekend though I might have to refer you to another mod, but they're all a great bunch and if we can't get this ironed out one of them should be able to finish up with you).
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Thaddeus
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Thu May 30, 2013 11:17 am

Okay, I've added a pretty big plot point into his history which explains why he doesn't make friends, as well as why he left shim.

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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:41 am

Bump- If Saruna is away, could someone else take a look?

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Katona
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Katona » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:39 am

Sorry this has been taking so long. Sometimes if everyone is busy at once, things can slow down for a little while, but I really do apologize for the long wait.

As for the app, I do like what you already have, but like Saruna said, you need to add a bit more depth to Thaddeus' personality. I suggest going through every point you've made about his personality and history, and think more about "how" or "why". Add some more description.

For example, even if he wasn't especially phased by his parents' death, you could describe his relationship with them before they died, and explain why their death didn't bother him. Describe his experience at the time, the kind of child he was. You should also describe his thoughts on his other friends - how did his relationship with Verde develop? How did he feel when Verde took the blame? How did he and Vilaria become friends, and what was their relationship like? How did he feel when he found out what was going on with the copiax? Has he thought much about Verde since the arrest?

You might also want to include Thaddeus' opinions on different aspects of the town - like other people, the culture, anything you think he might have had thoughts on that could show more about his personality. Of course you don't have to include everything, but try to add more experiences that would seem relevant to his life - maybe problems he's encountered throughout his life, things that annoy him? What do other people think of him? Does he get much business? Does he have any other family in the Marn/Shim area? What are his current life goals?

Thanks, Thaddeus. Just reply here or feel free to pm me if you need any help. :)

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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Thaddeus » Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:55 am

Thanks for taking a look. I think I've addressed everything.

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Katona
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Re: Thaddeus Brooker

Post by Katona » Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:28 am

I notice you put most of the changes into the personality section. You'll need to work them into the history section instead. Personality is more for what he's like at present day, whereas history is all the things that have happened to him and how he reacted to them and so on. That way people can read through your history and see everything together.

And what does he think of other races, magic, that sort of thing?

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