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Hakino :rewrite


Hakino :rewrite

Post by Hakino on

Hakino
Age: 18
Race: Human

Physical Description:
Hakino stands at a small height of 5 feet 4 inches with hair the color of pitch that was jagged and uneven as though it was cut with a dull rusty knife. The hair covers a pair of alluring sky blue eyes that had small flecks of silver in them that always gave them the look of sadness or loneliness. Though the eyes match his pale skin that was almost the color of a recently fallen snow. A large scar ran from the end of his right eye all the way down to the bottom of his left lip before running down to his right shoulder towards the center of his stomach. Scars lined themselves along both his arms that gave him the look of barbwire had been wrapped around his forearms. It just seemed to compliment with his lithe form though that was covered in a long sleeved shirt that was two sizes to big in the sleeves and a pair of leggings that billowed out from the knees down to his feet. A simple pair of black combat boots adorned his feet. On his face was a red mask that he always wore no matter what the situation was as if to hide his feelings.

Possessions:
A necklace that looks like a metal coin beaten with a hammer till it was bent and chipped written in a language that was hard to decipher due to the damage of the coin.
Crimson mask with multitude of scars along it that he always wore
a pair of black gloves that have no properties



Powers or Strengths:
Hakino had the ability to summon a small cloak of fire that would surround his body when the need arised. Due to being a mere human he had no great physical strength like bending metal in his bare hands but he was slightly stronger then the average person due to always jumping around and lifting things up just to see what would happen.
Weaknesses and Flaws:
Suffers from occasional fits from his nightmares or " Curse " as some would call it. Hakino was overly curious that would get him in trouble allot as he liked to see things in motion just to try and figure them out. Since he didn't have any parents, Hakino would always listen to what he was told by people which wasn't a great idea but he couldn't help it. He is always looking for a "Mother" or "Father" figure to try and figure out what it would be like to have a family.

History:
Being sold off to slaves at a early age, Hakino was raised by a inspiring mage of no real talent. The mages name was Takinort, after buying Hakino he used the boy as a servant to clean his tower in the land of Sarhon across the seas. As he was being raised, Takinort noticed that Hakino was able to grasp a small bit of the concept of magic. After years of studying Hakino was taught a simple spell of covering himself in flames at the age of 10. When he turned the age of 12, Takinort began to try his new spells by experimenting upon the poor boy. That was when Hakino became mad. Not in the sense of anger but the sense of the mind. The incident happened when he was 14.

Trying out a new spell he came up with, Takinort casted a nightmare spell upon Hakino to see how it would react. It gave the boy nightmares sure enough, but what the Mage didn't know that would happen was that it put Hakinos mind in the permanent state of nightmares and horrors that he could see even when he was awake. This went on for another 2 years before Takinort was able to try and fix the damage he had inflicted. During that time, Hakino had bought himself a mask for the idea of hiding behind it from the nightmares he saw when he was awake. It worked to a certain extent for him as it allowed him to see the world around him for a small amount of time before the nightmares would come back.

Coming up with the spell might of been one of Takinort's greatest achievements although it was his certaint undoing. One of the rules that he had taught to Hakino was to never cast a spell that would drain you of your life force if you didnt have enough energy to cast it. Not realizing his mistake, Takinort had cast the spell upon Hakino in order to try and redeem himself while making a name for his idea. The spell had worked to a extent that it had gotten rid of Hakinos day time nightmares although before it could fully heal the boy the spell had overpowered and killed its caster. Now orphaned, Hakino had dressed himself in the only clothes he had and began to wonder the world.

As he grew to the age of 18, he had boarded a ship not caring where it went as long as he could find a place to explore. He was adventurous although he had the curiosity of a cat which had led him into more then his fair share of fights or scuffles that had marked him. Stepping off of the ship he had boarded, Hakino began to walk around on the foreign soil wondering what the world had to offer him. The nightmares were still a problem for him but he had gotten them under control for the most part, though surprises or being crowded would make one of them trigger, Thus the reason why he always avoided crowded streets. He preferred to climb up into trees or onto buildings to watch everything move around him.

As he continued to walk about, he began searching for someone to call family though he really didnt know how to be apart of one. Thus how he ended up walking into Thar Shaddin.

Re: Hakino :rewrite

Post by Saruna on

Thanks for your patience!

I would like you to expand on his cloak of fire. It could be very powerful if it is not countered or limited in some way, which would be too much for a first time character. How long can he keep it around him? How hot are the flames? Is he immune to fire? How thick are the flames?

I would like you to add a strength that correlates to his personality.

I would like you to expand on his curiosity -- why does he jump around? Why does he lift things up? How does his curiosity get him into trouble?

I would like to see some references to the setting in his history in terms of where he has been and what he knows of the world.

How is Hakino "mad" ? How does it manifest? Please include this in his strengths and/or weaknesses.

How has the incident with the nightmares affected Hakino's personality and how he sees the world and other people?

What happened to him between the ages of 14 and 18? How did he survive at such a young age? How did this affect his social and emotional development? How did it affect his physical development?

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please send me a pm, hop into chat, or leave a reply in this thread.

After you've edited your app and are ready for it to be looked at again, please leave a reply in this thread.




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